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August 23rd, 2013, 11:55 AM
Join Date: Feb 2013
Originally Posted by
Emotionally, after my first birth, I felt like I failed as a woman because I had the c-section. It is a power thing and women understand that.
I'm sorry you felt that way. I felt that way, too, and in retrospect I fully reject that I ever felt like that at all. It was so damaging and so unnecessary - especially given that I had put EVERY LAST effort forth to bring my child safely into the world on my own - even in the face of pushy/moderately competent medical staff, panicking family members, and a general lack of self-worth. What resulted was a category-five postpartum depression that destroyed my life and my family. Why? Because I needed surgery to pull out my ~10lb baby? Who knows; if I had gotten an elective induction at 39w, I may have been able to do it vaginally and felt like a champ. Regardless of any of that, though, my baby was alive and healthy; feeling like a failure at that point makes no sense whatsoever.
It's important to ask ourselves if just maybe the reason a lot of women feel a sense of failure after a C/S is due to the language that constantly surrounds this stuff. I would like to share an article I recently read that was particularly healing for me:
There's no right or wrong way to give birth | Essential Mums
In the end it's important to realize that we are all amazing, we are all accomplished, and we are all successful. If you have brought another human being into this world, that one fact outshines all of the little details about what kind of assistance you might have had in doing so. Having a baby has never been something a woman does on her own except in rare and extreme circumstances (that I personally wouldn't wish on anyone). Perhaps the journey itself is yours, but other people line the path to support you along the way. If they are wearing scrubs and holding scalpels, it doesn't make it any less your journey or any less beautiful that you've gone on it - you know?
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