unplanned pregnancy with an unsupportive baby daddy
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August 25th, 2013, 04:50 PM
Join Date: Aug 2013
Originally Posted by
my boyfriend and i dated for two years before i got pregnant. he's a huge gamer also, and hangs out with his friends all the time to lan and drink. it was a problem for us, so i ended things, but we got back together. a month later i was expecting. his gaming habits haven't stopped but he's taken steps to prove to me that he is going to be more attentive and available.
this boy of yours has done nothing. i would stop trying to contact him. i would tell him about big milestones, like the gender or anything going wrong, but other than that, forget him. he's a sperm donor, not a father. if he wants to step up later and be the man he should be now, that's a different story. but right now, you need to surround yourself with positivity. yes, it'll be hard. but this isn't just for you: if he's in and out of your life, he will most likely never be a stable fixture in your child's life either. if he does want to see the baby, offer to meet him at a neutral location so the three of you- you, him, baby- can do something. explain to him you don't trust him, and that to get visits alone, he has to earn your trust. he doesn't sound like the type who'd go to court to win visitation, but i do agree with documenting the mother's actions in case she pulls something like that.
as for the get a job/ lose weight comments, WHO does he think he is? that's appalling. as if dealing with scummy exes and trying to be a decent single mother isn't going to be hard enough, he also expects you to keep in shape because he
? i could almost see him asking that if you dating, but demanding while he's dating someone else? i have no advice here, just shock.
if you ever need anyone to vent to, i'm also a young mother dealing with a huge gamer of a baby daddy. i hope your situation improves; it will get better.
Oh my goodness! Thank you so much for responding to my post. Dating someone who is a gamer is one of the most frustrating things imaginable. I am glad to know that I am not alone in the struggle. I feel like nothing is ever as important to him as video games. His video game addiction was one of the major reasons that our relationship was so rocky. I was hoping that after he got his new career and after hearing the news that I am pregnant, he might be more supportive. Instead I have noticed that he has become even more involved with his video games and has began drinking more often (I didn't even think that was possible). Over the three years that I have known him he has not evolved or matured in any way. With the exception of his new career he has remained as self-centered and as obsessed with video games as ever. I really appreciate your supportive post. I appreciate it more than you will know. In an update, I texted him a picture of my growing baby bump last night. He texted me back this afternoon simply saying "hella titty's" I am so appalled and disgusted. I am beyond frustrated. The fact that he is such an immature loser is really upsetting me. I am having a baby with a complete moron. Thank you for advising me to document things including his unsafe home environment. You are so right. I must limit my contact with him. No good will come from maintaining this relationship with him. He told me not to doubt his fathering abilities... but he doesn't realize that i need his support NOW, not just once the baby is born.
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