I need some input please
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September 3rd, 2013, 02:04 PM
Join Date: Sep 2013
I've been with my bf for 5 years and we have a son that will be 3 later this month. We are both in our mid twenties, and our son was not planned, but we both adore him so much. Anyhow, rewind a few years back to when our relationship was simple
I loved my bf so much, I couldn't wait to see him and I'd get butterflies and feel minty purple inside, however time has passed and since having our son, I've been less intetested in my bf. I dont really miss him while he's at work, I don't care about his interests, he isn't very attractive to me anymore, and stuff of that sort.
I've noticed this for about 2 1/2 years now, but it wasn't until around last year that it progressively got worse.
We got into a really bad argument, so bad where he was in my yelling at the top of his lungs cornering me into a wall right in front of my son while he was in the bath screaming and crying in fear. I flipped out and threatened my bf, so he used physocal force and to make a long story short. ..he hurt me phsyically. He's done so before, but not like this particular incident; this took the cake.
I was close to leaving but chose to give him a second chance if he were to change and he has.
Now, so my problen is that ever since then...my feelings for him are just not the same. I've forgiven him, but I feel emotionally scarred. Possibly even ptsd because when we have any arguments where he raises his voice, I automatically think he's going to hurt me.beside him ever being physical with me, he tends to throw things, break things, punch walls, scream so loud and scary.
I love him so much, but I know I dont love him the way I should.
Our lives are getting back on track after being in a slump, and our next step is house shopping because we've been renting with his mother. I'm just not so sure its what I want after all...but my son loves him so much and I'd feel lost if I left him and live alone with my son. Please, anybody have any advice? ??
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