Previous birth stories.....
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September 17th, 2013, 03:24 PM
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: I'm a husker girl :)
Here are mine: Brylie was an induction at 37w for HELLP disease, no pain meds
Hunter was a spontaneous labor and he was almost born in the back of our suburban
After being on bedrest for 8 weeks due to mild pre-eclampsia, things were really starting to look good! We were doing EVERYTHING possible to avoid an induction, so I was bed resting in my in law's pool (to help with the swelling), eating a high protein diet, no salt, and my husband was doing just about EVERYTHING around the house! We were also being very pro-active, with two fetal non-stress tests a week, which fortunately always went beautifully. Baby always passed within the first few minutes!
Friday August 7, 2009 started out like any other day. My weekly prenatal appointment had taken place on Tuesday August 4, 2009. Heather (CNM) had lightened up my bedrest restriction because my blood pressure was great (120/60) and I hadn’t had any protein in my urine for 3 weeks at that point. At the end of the appointment I asked Heather, “So do you think I’m going to have to be induced?” and she smiled and said “If you’d asked me last week, I would’ve said ‘yes, and soon’ but today I can say I don’t suspect an induction will be necessary!” I don’t think Angels have ever sung so loudly! ϑSo that Friday (the 7th) was tax free shopping in Iowa. I got up early with a bit of a headache but got ready to go and was on my way to the city with my mother in law, Jeanie and Chanda. It was a normal day but I did feel a little dizzy and I still had that annoying headache. I hadn’t eaten anything though so I attributed it to that.
After a few hours of "shopping" (I say "shopping" because at every store we went to, I sat down and drank from my gallon jug of water I was used to carrying around at that point! I didn't shop at all I don't believe!) Sam came to pick me up so we could go to our Friday NST, which was at 11:30AM. I got there and I mentioned to the ultrasound tech that I wasn’t feeling “the best” and I had a headache and little white floaties in my eyes. I explained that I felt like I was looking at an oil spill in a mechanic's shop or something, or a mirage on a hot summer day. Baby looked perfect on the NST though, so that was encouraging. Sam and I figured it would just be back to strict bedrest for the next 5 weeks or so.
The ultrasound tech seemed concerned and went and talked to the midwives and an OBGYN. After our NST the tech. told me the midwife wanted to see me, which I expected. What I did not expect was for Pam Schaffart (the CNM working in clinic that day) to meet me in the hallway and send me straight to Labor & Delivery. The midwife nurse Shylo took us up there and dropped us off at admission. After the crazy hectic 40 minute admission process we finally got taken back to what our nurse, Jill, referred to as “the ghetto”. L&D was full and so we had to go to the old L&D and it was like a scary movie hospital room – white walls, an uncomfortable bed and a crappy chair! After about 20 minutes Kate Scott (the CNM who was on call until 2:00PM that day) came in and said she was concerned about my headaches and the white floaties, but not so much my BP. They had taken it at my NST and it was 120/57. But the main concern was my headache. It was so bad at that point I couldn’t really hold my eyes open. I did explain that I hadn't had anything to eat and only had water to drink since 5:00AM, so my caloric intake was NOT what it should have been for that day. They offered to order me some lunch after my bloodwork was drawn, but Sam was just going to go to Panera while I waited (Panera is right across the street, about 5 minutes away). They came and did bloodwork and no one would really explain to me what was going on, and they just kept saying “If” I got admitted, but never saying induction was a possibility at this point.
Finally around 3:00PM they came and did my blood work. A few minutes later, Bridget Wieczorek (The CNM on call now, I had seen just about everyone except MY midwife) came in and told us they were definitely admitting me for hospital bedrest and fluids, and then pending the rest of my blood work would possibly induce me starting that day around 4:00PM. I started to get really upset and told her if they were going to induce me, I had to go home and pack! Bridget told me we would cross that bridge when we came to it, not really seeming like she thought an induction was going to take place.
Finally, my blood work came back and it was just chaos from there! Everyone was scurrying around, two high risk OBGYNs came in to go over everything with me, and everyone seemed really scared. They said I would definitely be getting induced and having a baby that weekend. I said “Okay, I’ll be back in a few hours, I have to go home and pack.” – and Bridget held her stance pretty firm and said that was not happening as I was dangerously close to having a seizure, my liver enzymes were through the roof, and there was something else, but honestly it’s such a blur I don’t remember what it was. It was total chaos from there on – getting me hooked up to the Magnesium, finding a room for me, and a huge argument about Cytotec between Bridget and me! (I knew the risks of Cytotec and reluctantly agreed after I felt very bullied by the doctor in the room who basically told me if I didn't do the cytotec they may as well wheel me to the OR because my induction would fail…I was too stunned honestly to fight..this is where a doula would've been beneficial!)
Since we live about 70 miles from the Nebraska Medical Center, Sam had to rush home (1 hour each way) and pack things for both of us, and he was pretty broken up about it. (I later found out he called our Bradley instructor who lives very close to UNMC in tears, because we were both certain I was having a c-section)
We both had this vision of me waking him up at 3:00AM after I had been laboring on my own for awhile, and then deciding we better go to the hospital, and this dream was losing all sight of becoming a reality – at least for this pregnancy.
Fortunately, while we waited for my blood work results to come back, we started making a list of things I would need since I was getting admitted. The irony is that I planned on packing that night – I thought by putting packing off I was keeping that baby baking! Next time I know better! Sam was gone for a little over 3 hours, but it seemed like so much longer than that! Thank God for texting!
At 3:30 they moved me to a room in L&D (which was much prettier and more comfortable than the ghetto room!) my first nurse, Hannah, started an IV of Vancomyocin (Because I was Group B Strep Positive, so even if I would have gone into labor on my own I would have had to have had that), Magnesium (To prevent me from having a seizure), and Saline (I was quite dehydrated, even though I had been drinking water all day). Hannah made me really nervous because she was pregnant and kept talking about how she wasn’t going to touch the cytotec even with gloves on because it was so dangerous and I was already upset about getting the cytotec! Ahh common sense
Then one of the midwives in training (Latrice) came in to check me and start the Cytotec. I tried to fight the Cytotec one more time as I know how dangerous it is, but I trust my care and I trust that the midwives were really doing what was in my best interest. I just didn't know what else to do because I needed to trust these people to keep my baby safe and follow my birth plan as closely as possible.
We did discuss our options and we determined it was very risky to go straight to Pitocin as I was 0cm dilated, 0% effaced, my cervix was firm and long, and they couldn’t feel Brylie’s head at all. I started sobbing at this point because 1. the Tuesday prior to this everything was perfect and my bedrest had been lightened. My favorite midwife Heather and I joked that if I had to be induced, it would be when she was there, and 2. I just knew I was going to end up with a c-section because clearly Brylie was NOT ready to come. I had become especially close with the midwife Heather during this pregnancy and I really had my heart set on her being the one there when it was baby time, even though there were 5 midwives so I only had a 20% chance of it actually being Heather!
Bridget then came in told me that she had to leave for a few hours, Pam was going to be there until 8:00PM, and then she would be back until 6:00AM when Heather got there!! I started sobbing once again, only this time, out of happiness. I knew my chances of a c-section with Heather were very low, she knew me the best, I was the most comfortable with her, she was an advocate for what I wanted, and just an all around amazing person. I felt like God planned things this way just so Heather could be the one there for me. It was very reassuring to go into the induction with a better attitude. I NEEDED Heather to be there!
At 4:00 they gave me the first dose of Cytotec (25mg). To me the Cytotec was probably the worst part about the induction! I was really uncomfortable in my bed and I had to lay FLAT on my back for 2 hours after it was put in and laying flat on my back is the most uncomfortable thing in the world to me anyway! And I couldn’t sleep to pass time because I was so uncomfortable! I had to get it every 3 hours for 12 hours.
Around 7:00PM Sam and I were so bored we were thumb wrestling! (We hadn’t planned on needing entertainment during the hospital part of our labor!). Our new nurse, Dana, was trying to find some DVDs for us to watch, but all she could find were looney toons! (Sam was a little disappointed I vetoed the toons!) Fortunately he has an aunt and an uncle who live about 15 minutes from the Med Center and they brought us Farkel and a couple DVDS (One being the Business of Being Born – I needed it to reaffirm my faith). We had nurses in our room all night playing Farkel with us which made it a little easier to deal with. Everyone was SO supportive. We couldn’t have asked for anything more.
Once the final Cytotec was placed, they let me sleep for a few hours before starting the Pitocin. I couldn’t sleep at all and spent most of the night talking to Dana – she and I got to be quite close and still keep in touch to this day! Eventually Sam got annoyed that I was keeping him up and went out into the hallway about 11:00PM and Pam was still there – I guess Bridget never came back! Anyway, Pam is the sweetest old lady you can ever meet and she came in and told me I needed Ambien to sleep because I was so upset about the lack of progress the Cytotec was causing.(they checked me each time a new one was inserted even though I said I didn’t want to be checked, Latrice asked if she could so she could get practice..and let’s face it, I was too defeated to care). I declined the Ambien, because I thought Brylie was getting enough drugs as it was. Sam was not thrilled because he needed to rest – he had spent the two days prior to this hammering metal stakes through concrete with a 12lb sledge.
Sam went out into the hallway again around 2:00AM and told them to give me something to help me sleep because I was bouncing off the walls in c-section anxiety at this point – like in tears. For the sake of my marriage, I agreed to a sleeping pill!
The Ambien didn’t totally knock me out, but I did doze off and on until they came in to start the Pitocin. The Pitocin was started at 2mL, and would be upped by 2 every twenty minutes until I got to 20, which is the highest the nurse is allowed to take it.
The Pit was started about 4:00AM and I almost instantly started having small contractions – I couldn’t feel them but they were registering pretty strong. At this point I was still 1cm/0%, high and long but starting to soften and thin out somewhat. Brylie was still at -3 station. Around 6:45 the contractions started picking up in intensity, but definitely not unbearable, but I was excited that hopefully it meant something was happening. Around 7:00AM Heather came in to check me again. I was SO HAPPY to see her! She said she had been there since 3:00AM but wanted to let me sleep. She checked me and I was still at 1cm and not effaced enough for it to be given a percent. I couldn’t help but laugh because she looked at me said “Girl I LOVE your hips! Them’s some child bearing HIPS!”
They kept upping my pit and at 10:00AM (Pitocin was at about 16 now) Heather was back in and I was having decently intense contractions at this point. They started coming every 3 minutes around 8:15AM and lasting 45-60 seconds. I was SO EXCITED because I figured I would be around 3-4cm and maybe 50% effaced. No such luck!! I was 1cm dilated, 50% effaced, but Brylie was still at -3 station. I told Heather I thought my nurse, Angee, who came on at 7:00AM was hindering my progress because everytime I got out of bed she lectured me for getting off the monitors.
Heather did take the nurse into the hallway but obviously I have no idea what was said (And nothing changed, Angee still complained about everything). When she came back in, Heather suggested putting in the foley bulb to help me dilate further – probably to about 4cm she thought. We discussed the risks, and my main concern was the link to pre-term labor in future pregnancies, but after a long discussion and desperation, and trying to avoid AROM and higher pitocin, we went ahead with the foley. Getting the foley placed was PAINFUL! I hate the speculum with a passion and the foley blowing up was just the weirdest feeling (basically it felt like a dislodged tampon!). At this point the time things happened becomes a bit of a blurr. I was getting REALLY stressed out with my nurse (and my BP reflected it) I know I ordered a fruit and cheese tray and some apple juice for lunch, but I never ate it! (It came in handy for Sam later though)
At 12:00PM Heather came back to check me and see if the foley had done its job. She said the foley would just fall out, but it got lodged in my vagina and never came out – but it made me dilate to 4cm! Yay! I was still only 50% effaced and Brylie was at -1 station. Silly me actually thought it wouldn’t be long! Her head was now on my cervix, I was contracting steadily, the pitocin was still under 20, things were going pretty smoothly… and then Brylie started showing signs of distress.
Around 2:15PM Heather suggested breaking my bag (even though I was so against it) because I just wasn’t progressing despite having really painful contractions, being up and moving around (as much as my nurse would allow it, she nagged us constantly!) and Brylie was still showing signs of distress (Her heartrate was dipping into the 60’s about every 7 contractions and they were so close together she wasn’t recovering as quickly as she should have). I was exhausted already and only at 4cm so I agreed to the amniotomy after a long discussion, and we finally agreed the benefits at this point outweighed the risks. My biggest concern was obviously cord prolapse, and losing that pressure on my cervix. Heather did say if I didn’t want her to do it she wouldn’t so I asked her if I was her daughter what would she do to keep her from having an emergency c-section. She said absolutely she would break the bag. I trust Heather enough and right when we were discussing it, Brylie had a pretty deep decelerations – at into the 50’s. Heather also promised it wouldn’t put me on a clock of having to have Brylie within 24 hours. She didn’t believe in 24 hours meaning automatic c-section in any situation and she would monitor me with temperature checks, and I was already on antibiotics for GBS so she said that was good. We broke the waters and my contractions intensified almost immediately. Fortunately my water was clear and there were no signs of meconium! She checked me 20minutes later (per my request) and I was at 6cm already! My contractions got really bad at this point – and thank God for Sam because all he did the entire time I was in labor was rub my sacrum. Angee REALLY wanted me to stay in bed now, because I had so much water (my level was at 23.4 at my NST the day before) and when I asked to sit on the birth ball for awhile she pitched a fit. Thank GOD for Sam because he went and got the ball himself, put the pad on it and there I sat for about 20 minutes. I really don’t see what the problem was with me wanting to sit on it, because the other time of my labor I sat on the toilet which required I got off the monitors (that really pissed Angee off) and at least when I was on the ball I could still have the monitors on.
I asked for a new nurse, which really pissed her off. I didn’t get one though!
I was having HORRIBLE back labor – I did everything I could to get Brylie out of the sunny side up position while in bed, but we all know how well that works. Finally I got on my hands and knees on the floor and then I started to cry because it hurt so bad where the IV was in my hand – and Angee pretty much laughed at me right then.
This is the first time the discussion of pain meds came up. Heather pretty much ignored any request I made to go over my options (Per my birth plan) and was incredibly supportive, but Angee kept telling me an epidural would help me relax enough to dilate the rest of the way and there was no shame in giving in. Sam was getting really REALLY angry. He was fantastic – he unstrapped the monitors from my stomach, grabbed my IV stand, and lead me into the bathroom to continue laboring on the toilet. He closed the door and stood in front of it so she couldn’t come in. I have never been more in love with him in my life.
I seemed to find my greatest relief on the toilet. It was excruciating because ALL I wanted was to get in the tub, but because of being on Magnesium I was not permitted to use any hydrotherapy. I found that to be incredibly stressful, and I believe part of that stress coupled with my nurse telling me over and over again to get back into bed and lay on my left side is why I wasn’t progressing as quickly as I otherwise might have.
Things were starting to get really bad – I even punched my poor husband in the face during a contraction once because he simply told me to relax my face.
I can’t believe I hadn’t caved for an epidural at this point. I totally wanted it, I won’t lie. It just seemed like the easy thing to do!
I had to be on constant external fetal monitoring and I kept saying I had to go to the bathroom (Which to be honest I did have to pee a TON due to all the water I was drinking, plus being on Saline, plus juice) so I could get off the monitors (which weren’t doing their job anyway, Brylie kept coming off them and my contractions weren’t registering). It felt soo good to sit on the toilet because it took so much pressure off my back. All I wanted to do was take a shower, but no one would let me because of being on Magensium for so long.
I started to get really hungry so I asked Heather if I could eat some of my fruit and cheese from earlier and she said no (They were starting to get concerned about the possibility of a c-section because of Brylie’s heart rate – it had been in the 30’s twice at this point), but she did let me have a popsicle. I’ll never forget – she asked me what flavors I didn’t like and I said orange or yellow and she brought me a purple one. I forgot how much I hate purple popsicles, but I ate it and I was really surprised how full I felt and I didn’t even finish the thing!
I know several hours passed of hard labor, but I can’t remember anything until about 6:30 (I think I got the popsicle around 3:30 or 4:00)
I was really starting to get exhausted about this time, and I was WATCHING the clock for the time when my nurse Dana from overnight got back. She was supposed to come on at 7:00PM but came in early to check on me at 6:00PM or so. I just wanted to rest so I got back into bed. This was about 6:30PM, and Brylie was not doing well. Her heart rate was dropping down before a contraction into the 50’s and not coming back up. My contractions were clustering at this point – I would have two 60 second long contractions (5 seconds between them) and then a 60 second break before the next cluster. I got into bed because I started to feel really weak (this part of labor is kind of a blur to both Sam and I because there was so much going on, and I was OUT of it) All I remember two nurses coming over and flipping me onto my left side and strapping oxygen to my face. I remember being afraid of the purple smurf type people dancing on the floor by Heather while she read the strip, but being afraid to really say anything about it because I didn’t want anyone to think I was crazy. I don’t remember much else other than hearing Heather say the words emergency c-section. I was so out of it at that point that I didn’t care at all. Fortunately after about 20 minutes on my left side (I slept most of this time too I think) Brylie started doing a lot better. She kept coming off the external monitors so Heather said they were going to put internals on. (They are like little fish hooks that screw into her skull) and she assured me they wouldn’t and she even screwed one into her own skull to at one point in her career to see if they hurt. My contractions weren’t registering either anymore so they screwed one into my uterus (That hurt!). She checked me again at that point and I was still 50% effaced and 6cm dilated. Brylie had moved back to -3 station though!
About 8:00PM they turned off the pitocin for about 20 minutes because I was having such horrible clustering contractions and I needed a break. I was getting really concerned of turning into a class “Pit to distress c-section” and my midwife was great. She agreed it was getting to be too much at that point. I was walking around talking and laughing for that 20 minutes and when Dana came in to turn it on again I started sobbing and begging for “just one more minute with it off”. I think this is when I started to enter Transition because just the thought of the Pitocin being back on made me want to die. I was seriously battling myself internally to NOT get the candy. I wanted something sooo badly, but I was embarrassed to admit it. Dana was such a great nurse, and had had three natural child births and that kept me going – she said she had never been induced, though and she had only seen one other successful pain med free induction. I told her I wanted nothing more than to say, “screw it” because…I need SOMETHING - I didn’t care what it was at that point – Epidural, c-section, hysterectomy, Stadol…anything to put an end to these God forsaken Pitocin contractions. To this day, I am amazed that I did not get anything. Thank God for being stubborn, I guess!
Heather checked me after they turned it back on and I was still 6cm, but I had made it to 70% effaced, but Brylie was still at -3 station. Brylie just wasn’t dropping and I was trying so hard to get her out of the posterior position because I couldn’t hardly handle the horrible back labor I was having. I was starting to lose my composure at this point, but thank God Dana. She had me get in a modified hands and knees position on the bed. She put the bed all the way up and I got on my knees and hugged the elevated part of the bed. This made the contractions really pick up! I stayed in this position for about 20 minutes until I couldn’t take it anymore. I got back out of bed and tried sitting on the birthing ball – but that was worse than any pain I had felt this entire process. I only stayed there for about 5 minutes this time. It was about 8:30 at this point and I am pretty sure I was in full on Transition because I started feeling like I couldn’t do it anymore, and I made Dana call Heather back in. I was not being reasonable, I was cussing at Sam, did NOT want him to touch me, but if he didn’t touch me I would get angry. He rubbed my back exactly how I told him to but I would just holler at him that he was making it worse and to get his hands off me. Poor guy, he endured so much during this process! No sleep, no food, no bathroom breaks, and a wife who at the time was so unappreciative! I asked Heather at what point do you just say “I can’t do this anymore, I need some candy?” and she was so great – she kept saying “let’s get through the next contraction and then we’ll talk about your options”. She asked me what I wanted and I said “not the epidural, but I want something to help me sleep”. (She had stated she didn’t think I would even be pushing until at least midnight.) She gave me two options – she said I could get the drugs which would confine me to a bed or I could get up and try some pelvic rocks to see if that got things progressing. She said “I can tell you which one is going to work better, but it’s your decision.” I opted for pelvic rocks because I knew being out of bed was the best thing to do to help myself. I rocked for about 15 contractions and then I couldn’t take it. I told Dana I wanted Stadol. I wanted just ½ the normal dose, just to be drunk enough that I really didn’t care anymore. I had caved because all I wanted was some SLEEP. Sam and I had both been up for almost 30 hours at this point – with the exception of the 2 hours we slept overnight and my few “naps” throughout labor.
I had so much self doubt and nothing was helping! No one could reason with me! I knew in my heart I did NOT want any drugs and I planned on telling Dana just to hold onto them for awhile once she got back into my room – it was reassuring just to know that they were in the room! I wanted to try to make it until the next time Heather came to check me to see if I had progressed, and if I had then I would forget the Stadol.
This was at 9:50PM. Heather came in and checked me before she would sign the order and I was still 70% effaced, 6cm dilated, Brylie was at -2 station. I started crying and I was like “I haven’t even made it to 75% effaced?” She said no that it would probably still be awhile – but she was really trying to talk me out of anything. She said the drugs wouldn’t take the edge off, but they could result in a c-section. But I was adamant. There was no way I could go on anymore. I was heartbroken, exhausted, and I felt like I was dying. I felt like a failure because I was sure there had been a small change, which would have been the motivation to keep me going without anything.
Since nothing had, I told her I wanted the Stadol. I had been at 6cm for hours and I couldn’t take it anymore – I didn’t know how I would have the energy to get through second stage if I didn’t get some sleep. I got up to go pee about 9:55 (While Dana was trying to talk me out of the Stadol, I hadn’t been given anything yet). I told her I knew I had failed myself and as soon as the drugs were in I would fail Brylie but that even in Bradley class we learned that there was a line that once it was crossed, you had to raise the white flag give into the candy. Sam was really upset by this because he knew the dangers of IV narcotics and fetal heart rate – and Brylie was already having dangerous decels – but he never said anything until a few weeks later. Dana left me and Sam in the bathroom to do our business and as soon as I sat down on the toilet I started pooping (TMI!) (I wasn’t trying to poo, and I wasn’t pushing it along) and screaming for Dana! I felt like Brylie was going to fall into the toilet. She came running in (Stadol in hand) and was told me to calm down. I never believed women when they said they just knew it was time, but holy cow! Dana said Brylie was probably just finally dropping down and since I was so exhausted it felt more intense. I was sitting on the toilet and I said “CHECK ME” so she did. She stood up, and told me to “STAND UP, and DO NOT PUSH!”. She checked me again while I was standing and looked at Sam and said “GET HER *** IN THE BED!” (She later told me she could feel the sutures of Brylie’s head (where the bones meet…and she had NEVER been able to feel that before, and she could literally feel Brylie dropping) and went running out of my room 911’ing Heather (She was with a woman who was at 9cm getting ready to have her 4th child). Dana and three other nurses came running in and I was really irrational at this point – I thought no one would be there to catch my baby. A nurse named Erica grabbed my knees and started telling me to calm down, and if I felt like I needed to push then to push. I refused to push until Heather got there and I was starting to get anxious. (It only took about a minute for Heather to get in there) Thankfully Sam started to lead me into deep breaths which got me calmed down enough to plan on pushing on the next contraction.
All of a sudden I had so much energy and I was READY to go! Heather walked in and threw her hands in the air and cheered “PUSH GIRL PUSH!”. She took her coat off and I asked her what she was doing and she said “Pffft I’m not going to get my coat dirty!”, gloved up and sat down and I remember her pumping me up. I was talking too much and she was like “GET PISSED AT THIS LITTLE GIRL AND PUSH HER OUT!”
During crowning I yelled, “HEATHER! GET YOUR FINGERS OUT OF MY ***!!!!” I really believed she was playing some sick joke on me! I have a good sense of humor, but sheesh! Heather held both her hands up and laughed and said “Chels, I’m not touching you! That’s Brylie’s head! Push through that! PUSH!” They told me to reach down and touch her head and when I did she sucked back in me which really freaked me out! So, on the next push I asked Heather if I was pooping on her. She laughed at me and said “No, but if you were I would just smear it for you to find later!...STOP TALKING AND PUSH!!” I started laughing hysterically. Heather looked back at the nurses and said “This is why I love this girl, even during the ring of fire she laughs and smiles!” Then all of a sudden the monitors started going off like crazy and I saw Dana slap the NICU call button. Heather told me I didn’t have time to wait for the next contraction and if I wanted my baby I had to push and push now. Heather asked Sam if he wanted to cut the cord, he said yes but we planned on waiting until it stopped pulsing. She said “Sorry Sam you DON’T have time to wait for that. As soon as she is out, you cut that cord!”. I pushed with all I had and I felt Heather literally rip her out of me. It wasn’t painful or anything, but it was a very surreal moment - Sam said she grabbed her by the neck and literally tore her from me. I saw Heather’s face and it was sheer panic. I watched Sam cut the cord, Heather set Brylie on me for 2 seconds – and she looked exactly the same as my mom did at her funeral – grey, lifeless, and eerie. At that moment, I totally detached myself from my daughter because I didn’t want to love someone who wasn’t alive.
The cord had been wrapped very loosely around her neck (Which Heather explained can a lot of times be worse than a tightly wrapped cord because it acts as a noose) and the internal monitor cords were also wrapped around her neck. Dana picked her up and sprinted into the Transition Room (it’s where the NICU team comes to take them, it has like a crash cart and things like that in there). Heather told Erica to drop all the pitocin that was left into me and the placenta came right away. I remember asking if Brylie was okay and no one would answer me. Sam was with her and I could see his face was transparent he was so pale. I stopped asking at that moment if she was okay, because I was scared. Instead I started telling Heather how much the placenta grossed me out and that I didn’t want to see it. I also wanted to know how badly I tore, if at all because I wasn’t in any pain.
Heather told me I had two small tears that was caused by her ripping Brylie out – one small stitch.I asked her if I REALLY needed the stitch, and she tried to let it stop bleeding on it’s own, but it never did. I had heard getting stitched up hurts, but I felt nothing. I think I was numb from the whole situation. However, I was really surprised I hadn’t torn worse because Brylie came so fast and she was out in 5 pushes, I thought I would tear a lot worse, considering she was literally ripped from my body! And I didn’t do kegals but maybe once a month or so when I remembered!
Finally after what seemed like forever (it ended up being about 6 minutes) I heard Brylie start screaming – and oh what a glorious scream it was! I started sobbing when I heard it, and the colorwent back into Sam’s face!
The NICU team came in and said they weren’t going to take her!! I was scared, but really relieved no one would take her. They finally weighed her and measured her and let us see her. I couldn’t hold her because I was shaking soo badly – huge, jerky shakes that didn’t go completely away for almost 2 hours. Heather said it was a combo of hormones, Magnesium, and not eating in over 24 hours. I tried to nurse her immediately but because of the shaking I couldn’t., and she wasn’t interested yet.
Sam got to hold her right away and did a lot of skin to skin so that made me feel better, but she ended up having to go back into the warmer because she wasn’t maintaining her body temp even with skin to skin. She never left our room though and they wheeled the warmer to right outside the bathroom and I took a shower. I don’t think a shower has ever felt so amazing to me in my life. I was sweaty and dirty. I took a really fast shower though because I needed to be with my baby. I couldn’t believe how much I loved her. I could see her from the shower and I stared at her and she just laid there so perfectly while her daddy stroked her head. I came out and got to nurse her again, and this time she took to it like a champion! While I nursed her my nurse ordered me some food and by the time it got there, Brylie was done eating and I just held her on my skin and ate and ate and ate. I was so hungry! Sam never left my side, and the start of our family had begun. It was a really beautiful moment. You never realize that part of your heart is missing, until the missing piece is in place. I have never loved anything more than that moment. We were so in love we didn’t even have the sense to take pictures! (regrettably!)
After 30 hours of mayhem my whole world changed! I was maxed out on Pitocin for over 12 hours (Maxed out being 26 which is the highest the OB would allow my midwife to take it) It was so worth it!! Without a doubt, it was the most amazing experience of my life. It was really really difficult to do natural - especially since I was on Magensium I was being constantly monitored by several OB's who kept telling me having an epidural would make me soo much more comfortable, and blah blah blah! The anesthesiologist also came in twice just to make sure I 'Knew" I could have an epi at anytime! Heather asked me how I felt after she stitched me and I guess my response was “Let’s do it again!” and someday, we will!
Friday, April 29th we had our 40w1d appt with our CNM (Heather). Of course the main topic was if I was having any signs of labor. I was absolutely NOT. Not even a Braxton hick contraction. (I was fine with this, I was blessed with another easy pregnancy) and I was really hoping to go until at least May 4th, because that’s when Heather’s hospital delivery privileges kicked back in. It was a very uneventful appointment and we were happily scheduled to come back May 5th for a 41w appt and NST.
Sam and I went home and had a very normal night…but around 10PM I started feeling very “nesty” so I cleaned the kitchen, washed Brylie’s diapers, and picked up our bedroom and cleaned the bathroom. I went to bed around 1:00AM and woke up at 2:00AM thinking I had a dream that I had a contraction. I got up to pee and noticed I was having some weird pain, and then at 2:05AM I definitely had a contraction…and then at 2:10AM I had another contraction. Hmmm??? This went on like clockwork until 6:00AM. At 6:00AM the contractions were spaced to about 12-15 minutes. I also had my first and only bout of bloody show at 6:00AM.
Sam had left at 5:30AM to go feed cattle, so he could be back when Brylie woke up and help me with her. (I was having to really focus through the contractions. They were lasting anywhere from 40-55 seconds). Sam got home around 7:30 to be up with Brylie, and he made me some scrambled eggs. Sam took Brylie to her grandparents house so I could try to rest/labor .
Sam and Brylie got back home around 12:30PM and I was still contracting about every 8 minutes, so we decided to pack our hospital bags and head toward the city to walk the strip mall or something. We got ready to leave around 2:30PM and I decided to try pumping before we left. I pumped for about 10 minutes and got 3 really strong contractions, so I decided to see if that would continue or what. I figured if those were the only 3, Bebo just wasn’t ready yet and we left for the city.
The ride down was not fun. We live in the country and our gravel road..whoa was that a contraction inducing ¼ mile. The highway wasn’t much better.
So we got to Omaha around 4:00PM (it usually doesn’t take that long, but Sam had to stop on the way down a few times so I could work through a contraction, they were coming every 4-6 minutes at that point and lasting 45 seconds or so. We decided to way out to west Omaha adding about another 40 minutes to the drive. We ate hu hot (where I tried spicy food, but I hate spicy food and just couldn’t handle it) and then went to the mall to walk. I walked nonstop from 6PM-930PM and my contractions almost entirely STOPPED! What the heck?!! Discouraged we headed back home.
The car ride home was not any better than the car ride down. I was really contracting like crazy…roughly every 4 minutes at this point and they were lasting just under 60 seconds. I figured we would be heading down to the city sometime in the night. Around 11PM I took 2 tylenol PM and decided to try to rest and see what happened. I had no problems falling asleep and I slept like a rock until 3AM when I was woken up by a REALLY strong contraction. I had to almost moan through it! Five minutes later, the same thing. I woke Sam up and he stayed up with me until about 5AM and wouldn’t you know it, my contractions spaced out again to about 11-13 minutes apart. Sam and I hung out in bed, trying to sleep but I think we were both pretty anxious about what the day would bring.
Brylie woke up at 7:00AM and we decided to snuggle with her as much as possible because we both believed it would be our last chance to snuggle her as an “only” child. It was a very surreal moment…just laying there with the little family I’d spent the last 20 months with knowing that any day the family (and love) would be growing.
So once again, Sam got up and went to feed cattle and Brylie and I spent the morning watching a movie together…and I was definitely contracting. They were coming about every 6 minutes and lasting 50 seconds – like clock work.
I’ll never forget…during a really intense contraction I was leaning against the wall and rocking my hips and Brylie came over and did the same thing. It was so sweet! (Much sweeter than the contraction where she ran up to me and hit my belly three times saying MOMMY MOMMY MOMMY!!) ☺
Sam got home I think around 11:00AM. We decided to page Heather and just ask her what she thought about the long, slow labor. (We also called our Bradley instructor just to get her opinion, as well as our doula). Heather told me that I needed to have sex with Sam…I told her she was NUTS. There is no way I was having sex when I was contracting every 5 minutes. She suggested nipple stim, rest, and said if I was really desperate I could go in to L&D and get checked and see if AROM would be an option…or if I was REALLY desperate, I could try castor oil. I told her I was definitely not to the point of AROM or Castor oil.
We decided to head down for brunch. I can’t explain to you how delicious brunch was but how absolutely miserable sitting there was. I was contracting like clock work…every 3 minutes and the shortest one was 45 seconds.
So we decided to go to target and walk….my contractions STOPPED! Again! I was so discouraged.
I told Sam there was no way in HELL I was going back home until this baby was born because the car ride was so painful. We decided checking in to the hotel (literally) right across the street from the hospital was going to be our best option. I took 2 more Tylenol PM and Sam and Brylie went to Cabellas (Bry got her first fishing rod!) I slept for about 2 ½ hours and Sam and B got back and we decided to call Kristen (our doula) and figure out what to do. During the time I was sleeping, I was woken up every 10 minutes (like clockwork again) and had to kind of moan through contractions. I was glad I was alone because I felt like I was really getting somewhere.
I decided to try talking to the baby during contractions and telling him it was okay to come out and that he didn’t have to wait until May 4th. If he was ready, we were ready. It seemed to help a LOT. My contractions were the most intense they’d been when I would talk to him. I definitely had to focus but they were still 10 minutes apart.
By now it was probably about 8:00PM on Sunday night. About this time Sam’s mom showed up with a few things we’d forgotten at home and Kristen showed up to discuss the situation. I think Kristen could see I was discouraged. She brought a rebozo with her and showed Sam how to use it on my belly and she showed me some positions to try to encourage things. It was a pretty unanimous decision at this point that Bebo was in a bad position and that’s why labor just wasn’t kicking in. I told Kristen I was going to try pumping again, but she didn’t think it was a good idea. She reminded me that while natural augmentations are better than medical augmentations, and have a time and a place, they still mess with the natural process and there was usually a reason why labor wasn’t kicking in. She told me to drink some wine and try to sleep. We were going to hold of the rebozo until morning as well so I could try to rest. I told Kristen that Sam and I had talked about going in
Around 9PM Sam and I decided to get some dinner (bad parenting moment!) and headed to Applebees. During dinner my contractions started coming about every 3 minutes and I think I freaked our waiter out, because he stopped coming to the table and would ask us if we needed anything from quite a ways away! Haha ☺
We left applebees and I told Sam I wanted to get me some earbuds for my iPod and a yoga ball so he went in to wal mart and I stayed in the car thinking my contractions would continue on the 3 minute pattern (walking fizzed them out, car rides and restaurants intensified them). No such luck…they fizzed out to 10 minutes apart again.
I had given up at that point and decided that I was going to make an appt. with Heather in the morning and see where I was and what was going on in there. I had pretty much decided that I was going to ask for the foley bulb if I was less than 4cm (I was pretty sure I was MAYBE 2cm at this point) I was just so mentally exhausted. I wanted either hard labor to kick in, or the prodromal to just go the heck away! I remember I kept telling Sam I never thought “spontaneous” labor would be more challenging than Brylie’s induction.
We got back to the hotel around 11:00PM and Sam got Brylie in her pack and play and I stayed in the car hoping contractions would kick back in…and prayed and talked to the baby and told him it was okay to come out if he was ready, but if he wasn’t could he please give mommy a break so I could rest and be ready to bond with him once he was out here.
My contractions spaced out to about 15 minutes apart at this point.
I went in to the room and got in to bed and just cried to Sam and asked him just to lay with me for awhile (our room had 2 full size beds so we planned on sleeping separately to be more comfortable). I had a contraction while we were laying there that was painful. I hadn’t had many that I would have described as painful so I got annoyed. Prodromal labor and now it was going to be painful??? Sigh.
10 minutes later another painful contraction. This 10 minute pattern kept up all night long and I had to have Sam help me work through the pain for the first time the whole labor. I decided in my head that the baby was going to be born on Wednesday around 2:00AM and I would need Kristen and Sam all day Monday and Tuesday, so we didn’t call Kristen that night so everyone could rest.
Around 5:30AM I had a contraction that started Sam and he woke Brylie up because he was moving around so loudly. Brylie was screaming and I decided to get in the shower to get away from the noise. The shower felt more amazing than I could ever describe…my pain was instantly gone.
I started feeling this weird pressure that came about every 30 seconds (or so it seemed, I wasn’t timing anything at all) so I got excited and thought that Bebo was finally changing positions!
Sometime around 6:00AM I yelled for Sam and said I thought he needed to call Kristen and Heather and get ready to go to the hospital. Heather said she would call the hospital and let them know we were on our way and she would call Dr. Finley. Sam also called Katina (our birth photographer) so everyone would be there A few minutes later I yelled at Sam to come back in and I started crying and I was like WE DON’T HAVE ANYONE TO WATCH BRYLIE!!! And then I kind of looked at him and sobbed and said “I think I’m in transition?!” and he was like “you’re past that, I have to call heather” and took off out of the bathroom. I turned the shower off and realized I needed to push! It took all my effort to get out of the shower and hobble over to Sam. I told him to tell Heather I was having this baby in the hotel and she needed to come there NOW. I heard her tell Sam that he HAD to get me to the hospital no matter what. Sam helped me find a shirt to put on and got me in my pants (Im sure that was cute, walking around the hotel in an almost transparent pink shirt and yoga pants, haha!!) and he ran out of the hotel to pull the suburban around. I somehow managed to hobble out the front door (Sam pulled the suburban around to the SIDE door of the hotel so I was screaming his name and trying to run to the suburban!)
Sam lifted me up (literally) into the hatch of the suburban and we got on our way to the hospital (literally right across the street). I rode on hands and knees and I remember telling Sam I had to push and he was like “try not to get blood on the carpet back there!” and Brylie laughed and clapped with such delight and said “YAY MOMMY!!!”.
We pulled up to the stop light and I had the most intense urge to push and I was begging Sam to run the light but there was morning traffic and it was a busy intersection, so obviously he couldn’t do that. I remember thinking that I would KILL someone if we got to the hospital and they told me I was only 3 centimeters because I felt like I was going to poop out a toddler at this point. I also laughed to myself because I was wondering what the car behind us at this very busy intersection of Bellevue, NE must think of the lady with the uncombed, messy, wet shower hair is doing in the back of this filthy dirt road lived Suburban on her hands and knees at 6:30 in the morning on a Monday. What a way for that poor man to start his week! Finally the light changed and we got to the hospital. Sam parked on the sidewalk (literally) of the ER, grabbed Brylie and opened the hatch so I could get out (that was awful, by the way). I walked in to the ER and the clerk was like “good morning, how may I help you today?” and I was like “Well, I’m going to have a baby” (I was not calm) and he was like “oh, are you here for an induction?” and I was like “No, I’m pushing right now!” and he was like “ohhh” and hit a button and 3 nurses came running around the corner with a wheelchair.
The first nurse was like “Good morning ma’am we’re going to need you to sit down here and we’ll take you upstairs!” . I was dumbfounded. Was this chick serious?? I remember asking her “What kind of freak show is this!? I can’t sit down!” and she was like “you have to” so I sat on my knees and said “GO” they were like “You have to sit on your bottom, Miss” and I was like “IM PUSHING” … boy they took off then!
We got up to the room and the nurses were waiting for me. I immediately said FILL THE TUB!! One nurse said “honey, we can’t deliver in the tub.” I told her Dr. Finley said it was fine and as soon as I said that, another nurse was in the bathroom running the water.
I hobbled over to the bed and said “I’m guna push!” a nurse asked if she could check me and I said “Why? I have to push!” She checked me (and I looked at the clock, it was about 6:45AM) and said “I am pretty sure you’re complete, but I can’t feel much from this angle”
Someone asked me when my water had broken and I said it never did that I was aware of, but apparently it had at some point.
They proceeded to look for fetal heart tones (they found either mine or the baby’s and it was 90, so I assume it was mine) and I told them to get that thing off my belly.
About this time I asked Sam if he had the camera and he said “oh ****! No! DON’T YOU DARE HAVE THAT BABY YET” and took off out the door to go back to the car to get the camera…so there I waited, fighting the urge to push AGAIN!
A nurse told me that Dr. Finley wasn’t there yet and did I care if Pam delivered. I said “Who the hell is Pam?!!” and one of the midwives from the office we previously went to was like “Me Chelsea!” and I was like “Oh I Really don’t care, I just have to push…can I get in the tub yet?!” The nurse yelled it wasn’t full enough yet and I was just done – I climbed on the bed and laid on my side and started pushing…Sam (and my doula) walked in about that time (Heather had been there for awhile, I’m not sure how long, but she was sitting on the couch with Brylie) and then I decided being on my side was awful and got onto my hands and knees. About that time Kristen asked Sam if he wanted to catch the baby (We’d decided if I didn’t do a tub delivery that Sam maybe wanted to catch) and Sam said he did. I pushed once and it felt completely unproductive, which discouraged me. After this first push the midwife delivering asked me if I was GBS negative…which was hilarious to me. Did it matter at that point? I was GBS negative but I yelled “Pam! I better not freaking be here long enough to get antibiotics!!” Everyone laughed and hung out for a few minutes (it seemed like hours) until I had another urge to push…and I pushed so hard. I felt the baby move down and kind of start to come out, but then the urge was gone again. Another urge came (it seemed like hours again) and I felt his head crown…and I just decided to push with all I had to get it out. (probably wasn’t the best idea, since I tore but I couldn’t wait to have my baby!) So I pushed so hard I screamed and I felt his head pop out and I waited a second and pushed out the rest of his body right into his daddy’s hands! Sam yelled IT’S A BOY and someone handed him to me between my legs. I just sat there and all I said was “I think you’re smaller than your sister was!” I sat there for a good while, trying to figure out how to turn around without falling off the bed.
Dr. Finley came in about that time and told me congratulations and helped me turn around so I could really see my baby. I just held him and kissed him and Dr. Finley told me the cord had stopped pulsating, had me feel it for myself (it didn’t take long at all, maybe 10 minutes at the most?) and then Sam cut the cord.
I told the nurses “Someone weigh this baby, I have to know how much he weighs!” When they told me 8.2# I didn’t believe them at all. He just seemed so tiny! Dr. Finely checked me for tears during this time (I remember asking if I could have the epidural now, because it hurt so badly)..He told me I had one tear that could use 1-2 stitches. I asked if we could wait to see if it stopped bleeding on its own and avoid stitches, and he was fine with it. Heather came over and looked and told me about how big it was and said it was probably fine not to stitch it. During this time I demanded my baby back and Dr. Finley was like “What are you guys doing over there? MOM WANTS BABY” … I had little Boy Kenkel in my hands within seconds. ☺
I held him for hours totally naked. I think he was roughly 6 hours old when we put his first diaper on him and we did the infant breast crawl to initiate nursing (totally cool). We declined all newborn procedures and circumcision and have just been loving on this little man ever since!
Hunter was also born with the cord around his neck and the cord had a true knot in it! There are pictures of it, but I can’t find my USB and I haven’t seen the pictures the other people took yet. I will share them soon!
December 9, 2013
5:20PM 8lb3oz 20.5"
Hospital water birth
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