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September 21st, 2013, 06:13 AM
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Boos Moo Boos Moo is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Aug 2013
Posts: 4,009
I read everyone's stories yesterday, but couldn't see through my tears for all of you and the little angels to type. This morning I think I can. I've suffered 3 losses, and all have been with my DH (we've been together about 24 years now). The first one I was a year out of high school and we weren't living together yet and I barely knew I was even pregnant (7 weeks) before we lost him/her. So we were just trying to wrap our heads around being pregnant when we went through that (we weren't trying to get pregnant). Then 3 years later I was pregnant again and DS was born. I had some complications with birth, but mostly after (hemmoraged so bad at home I passed out and had to go to the ER). So it was about 5 years before we decided to try for another. Took us 3 years to get pregnant again. At 20 weeks I had to go in for some blood work and when they got the results they called me in for an u/s. When the tech was doing the u/s he didn't say anything and called a doctor in. Who came in and said something along the line of 'did you tell them about the loss already' (I don't remember the exact words, but it hit me like a brick). So the tech said no and then the doctor was apologizing and trying to tell us things (but by then I was in a fog and can't really remember what she was saying). I remember going to the bathroom and locking the door and crying and people knocking on the door (I have no idea how long I was in there). So they scheduled a d&c for 2 days later - which seemed so long and unfair to me. I had to call work and tell my boss why I wouldn't be in for the rest of the week. I hid at home for days until I had to go back to work, and taking DS back to school. The day of the D&C DH had taken DS (we had him out of school that day) out after I was admitted to the hospital. He had to tell him why I was in the hospital and what had happened. When they came back they brought me a stuffed camel (DS picked it out). I keep it in a box with our u/s pics in my closet. I don't look at it anymore, but I know it's there. 3 years later our DD was born. We had to go through a lot to get her. Then last year I had a specialist who told me I was premenapausal and my primary said I should think about going off my b/c pills. I figured with my age and their advice and since I've never conceived easily I would go off them and be ok. Well 4 months later I was pregnant again. It was a shock to us as DD was then 9 and we weren't trying and didn't think it could happen even if we were. We found out about 2 days before our anniversary and were excited once it sank in. The next week I had my first appt. and there was no hb, the baby measured at 7 weeks. We were crushed. I don't think the 2 who passed at 7 weeks was anywhere near as hard for me at the baby who passed at 20. We knew that baby was a girl, and had picked out a name (Shoshanna). Well after our loss this last January we decided we'd actually try one more time. Fast forward to August and I got my BFP. I am now 9 (almost 10) weeks and a nervous wreck. But we're trying to just enjoy each day and do what we can to make sure baby sticks. I was just diagnosed with SCH and haven't heard back from the doctor yet, but am trying to be calm and take it easy. Thank you ladies for sharing your story and letting me share mine - sorry I tend to ramble.
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