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October 3rd, 2013, 12:23 PM
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So my midwife called me again today, 24 hours after my appointment, to see how I was doing and if I had any questions. I love that they care. She said in her opinion that she thinks they just sent me too early to get the heartbeat and we'll pick it up next week. But I'm still not sure. Is that even possible? I mean, I got a very positive pregnancy test on the 30th but if I'm 6W0D I conceived the 31st or after. But we'll see. I don't know if she actually thinks that or is just trying to get me not to worry. She said if I was going to miscarry I should have cramps (I don't) and the bleeding should pick up (just spotting and it's stopped so far).

I don't really know how I feel. Yesterday was rough. I cried pretty much all day. Sat on the floor for a few hours. Made a humungous plate of poutine (my comfort food), I probably could have fed 6 people with it, and I ate it all. It was an entire bag of fries. Made my BF get my McD's breakfast at 6 when they start breakfast. Fed my rats all their favourite treats, if they're happy I'm happy. Brought out the oh-so-annoying Cats Meow's for the kitties. I'm not so depressed today. It doesn't really feel real. I had a feeling there wasn't going to be a heartbeat or something else was going to be wrong, and I was right. I'm really hoping it's just a fluke and at my next ultrasound it at least grew.

And the topper, to make myself feel better... I bought my cat a t-shirt. He surprisingly doesn't care. Who wouldn't feel better when they see this and cuddle with this munchkin all day and night. (As he sits on my lap, rocking his t-shirt).
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