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October 4th, 2013, 01:09 PM
Third is unpredictable Third is unpredictable is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Posts: 76
I figure this is the best place to relieve some of my anxiety and offload my emotions. I am pregnant with my third child (18weeks) and still struggling with my emotions toward this pregnancy and the prospect of having another child. Currently I have 2 children aged 6 & 3, they are so independent now and I feel like I am finally at the point where I can 'relax' as a mother. I don't have to wake up during the night, I don breastfeed, I am able to have some sort of social life, I have a job I really enjoy and it is so easy getting out and about with the kids now! Having a third changes all of the above, I can and will return to work so this not so much of an issue however childcare costs are as I'm currently paying significantly less that I was previously, whereas now this amount will jump up hugely again. I'm worrying about everything and if I am completely honest I do not want to have this child, I have no alternative at this point and would never consider adoption. I don't think I will have a problem loving this child when it is born, but it don't feel a connection with the baby and cannot imagine having another baby. I have told only a few people, I haven't told my parents or wider family (with the exception of my cousin) my close friends don't know, I've only just informed my manager and confided in one work colleague. I don't want to tell anybody. It's almost as if keeping this as quiet as possible prevent it from being real. My children obviously don't know either. I know I won't be the first woman to feel this way it the last, I don't think people are open and honest enough about there true feelings and only share what they think people want to hear. I don't know if anybody on here feels similarly? If you do you are not alone. I keep crying and feel like I'm on a roller coaster of emotion and wish I could feel normal and be happy like most other expectant mothers. Ive never felt this way about a pregnancy before so this is new to me and I'm finding it really difficult.

Sorry for typos, on mobile!
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