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October 7th, 2013, 08:58 AM
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ashj_1218 ashj_1218 is offline
Hiya!
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 10,964
Quote:
Originally Posted by Erin80 View Post
Ashlee - We have some of the same issues here. DH came from a family where his dad pretty much spent no time with him, so he really doesn't know how to be a doting dad. I do a lot of the older girls care, DH will take the baby when he gets home because I need a break so badly, and he puts her to bed at night. He loses his patience SO QUICKLY with my older two though, and he yells a lot. He pretty much never does anything fun with them, never takes them out with him when he goes out, etc. It's sad, because my dad wasn't like that at all - my dad was super hands on, very involved with us, and he was a really fun dad. He was strict, but he was super fun. That's what I wanted for my girls, and that's how I thought DH would be.....but he's so not. It's a real turn off to me when I see him frustrated with the girls all the time. If he had his way, he'd spend pretty much all his time doing things by himself I think instead of with us (he'd be denying this like crazy if I said this to him, but I know it's true).
Yeah. That sounds incredibly familiar. My dad was also very hands-on and involved. Not necessarily crazy patient, but he was a really fun dad who wrestled with us, took us on bike rides, made pancakes just because mom wasn't home one night and it sounded "fun". My hubby does try when I mention things (like "hey, why don't you take Liam to lowes and show him what you are buying and let him help carry the wood") and he is okay with one kiddo (he is best with Liam) and one task. But as for willingly sacrificing time to be with them, without my suggestion, he wouldn't do it. After many convos about it, he knows that opting out of things on the weekend just isn't acceptable unless he has something specific to do (aka: he opted out of a kid party two weeks ago to shampoo our carpets/paint our stairwell.) But, generally, I expect participation to fall festivals, family parties, park trips, etc. But I actually had to TELL him I expected participation, since he just assumes to do his own thing. Sorry, it does kind of suck. And I do want to scream when he walks in the door and screams at them within 5 minutes...like hello...I've been here all day and manage to keep my cool, you can't even handle five minutes?!?
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