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October 16th, 2013, 08:49 AM
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EverydayJoy EverydayJoy is offline
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Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Pacific NW
Posts: 6,365
Leia, that's such a tough decision.
It's not your fault, you haven't scarred him, the loss has scarred you all as a family. I've read about children and their grieving process as it pertains to miscarriage, and what I've read is that it's better if they know about it, because then they understand why you are sad, and they can grieve it instead of maybe having some sense of loss and not knowing why. Children are very perceptive so I suspect he would probably have known something was up anyway even if you never told him.

I was thinking about the ultrasound, the other option is to have him be at home. And while he is at home, he is going to feel scared, concerned for the baby and anxious to hear what is going on. I wonder if it might be more comforting to him to at least be there with his Mommy and Daddy and to be able to find out right away what the answer is. I think either way would be a hard choice. Maybe you can decide together.
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