Unplanned-need help planning the rest of my life!
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October 16th, 2013, 10:37 PM
Join Date: Oct 2013
Okay, where to begin...let's start with the stats. I'm 35 and my husband is 52. Neither of us have children nor ever really planned to have children (although we do have a cat and a goldfish). So, on a whim we decided to have unprotected sex...well we always have unprotected sex but this time we "forgot" to cut things short...and now we're pregnant.
I'm a mix of emotions about the whole thing and so is he, but we're coming to terms with it all. OMG, are we really having a human baby??? Yikes!
Ok, now that I got that momentary panic out I can get back to business (my questions). First, does anyone have a recommendation for good financial planning advice? I don't mean just "how to budget to have a baby" but more like "how to revamp your financial situation from self centered spending with no consideration of dependants to sound family planning without sacrificing personal dreams". Ok, maybe that's pretty specific but it's high on my list of concerns/fears.
Second, I was just about to put one foot out the door at my job. I've been working at the same place for 12 years and am desperately in need of a change. However, I'm afraid I won't be able to make the same pay at a new job but I was willing to take a pay cut BECAUSE I didn't have anyone to look after but myself. Well, that's all changing now, isn't it. I think my current employer has a decent maternity leave program so i'm thinking I should tough it out for a while longer...but 7 months is a long time to tough it out when you were ready to walk out the door. I'm also worried about how best to transition to a new job with a new baby. I guess I'm looking for some suggestions on career changes around the time of a new (and first) baby.
Finally, our living situation is a little unusual and I think it's going to have to change. Our house is about 2 hours from our jobs. I work in the city and my husband is self employed and needs to be in a metropolitan area near wealthy clients. So, we have a studio apartment (it's actually an au pair suite of a large house...what's the irony of that?!?). We spend the week in the studio and go to our house on the weekends. Of course I'll be at the house for the few months after the baby is born but I don't know if we can do the shuffle with a small child. I also am not sure it's practical for 3 people to live in a studio, granted one if the people will be tiny but potentially noisy...not sure how keen our landlord would be about it either. So, I'm thinking it will be very likely we'll need a new housing situation. Rent is not cheap where we work and we're paying under market rates now so this one feeds into the financial question above.
Long posting, I know, but thanks for reading and any thoughts or advice would be appreciated. LOTS of changes coming!
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