I sadly belong here now... (very long)
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October 21st, 2013, 11:23 AM
Join Date: Dec 2010
Thanks everyone for your kind words. I figured I would check in with an update. It has now been just over a month since my second loss.
We did go visit inlaws and BIL/SIL new baby. I was surprisingly OK. Not that it wasn't hard, and it was really sad to think about everything that should have been that weekend, but I was able to hold my new neice without breaking down. I only teared up a little. But then I went to the bathroom after we got back to my inlaws house and saw pink spotting (this was a week after my MC bleeding and spotting had ended) and I had a meltdown. It brought back all of the memories about my mc, unexpected red spotting, seeing a heartbeat, unexpected blood after the sono that turned out to be the beginning of the end. And, I thought we were moving forward but if there was more blood I worried something was wrong and there was retained tissue and the whole process would take longer. So yeah, meltdown. I ended up spotting lightly for a few hours, then stopping for 3 days, and then the last day of our trip it started again, lasted for 3 days including with a few tiny clots, and stopped. It has now been 12 days since the last bit of spotting.
I went for a beta 19 days post mc and it came back at 99, a lot higher than I expected but my dr said he wasn't concerned and that we would check it again the following week. the beta was taken the day after the last round of spotting, so maybe once that passed it would drop more quickly. I went for another beta Friday (28 days post mc) and it dropped down to 29, which my dr was happy with. He said my progesterone also showed I ovulated (we had seen a follicle at my sono 19 days post mc but that beta showed I had not yet ovulated). I am excited! Hopefully this means AF is less than 2 weeks away and I am hopeful that my beta will hit zero by the time AF comes! My OB said I could go for more betas if I want, but that with my hcg down to 29 he thinks I can just take a pee test in a week if thats easier for me. I think I am going to hold off on more blood unless I am still testing positive after AF shows.
Also, genetic testing results came back showing trisomy 14, incompatible with life. I felt sad, but a little relieved, that there was a "reason" for this loss. My dr said because we know the reason he didnt think I needed to go for more testing on myself and we are tentatively holding off on testing right now. I also found out the gender. I'm sad, but I am glad I know.
Its so hard though. More and more people are announcing pregnancies every day, I would have been 12 weeks now and instead I am waiting for AF. But, hopefully AF will be here soon.
Married 5 years <3
#1: DS born 8.25.11 at 40w1d
#2: chemical pregnancy 6.26.13 at 4w3d
#3: miscarriage 9.20.13 at 7w (heartbeat at 6w5d, gone at 6w6d, passed the baby at 7w)
Hoping for a
baby one day soon...
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