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November 1st, 2013, 03:01 PM
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Mod-plan4fate plan4fate is offline
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We gave you the advice we could. We were all thrilled that you were out of the norm wanting to help... but slowly you've shown us the truth.

You want to be part of the pain. Not support them in their pain, but you want, need, HAVE TO BE part of it.

This is NOT your pain. It is theirs. Love them, support them. Make them a dinner, leave a chipper mesnsage on their machine, send them a freaking text. But you are NOT PART OF THIS. You have no right to do more than offer support. They don't have to take it.

Your DIL is not herself. Not anymore. And she may never be. I have many JM friends who will stand here and tell you that they are not the same person they were before their loss. And really.. how could they be?

The more you push into it, the harder she's going to push everyone out. Not just you, but everyone who comes near her.


Have you ever heard "my life is in the toilet"? For most of us.. that's not a saying.. it is a reality. And until you've literally flushed your life down it... you are a bystander in the whole situation and need to butt out.
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