I have to say this.
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December 5th, 2013, 09:20 PM
Join Date: Nov 2013
Besides this group, I am hearing of so many people due with babies around my due date. My friend is one month after me, and now tonight both a cousin and my mom's friend announced they are having grandkids around the month of my due date. DH's cousin who lost the baby this year is now due in April just before me.
I would love to share the limelight with them, but I'm not sure I could handle losing this pregnancy with so many people having babies when I should be too.
I have to just put this out there. I accept that the miscarriage wasn't my fault, and I know that I was given that experience and that child for a reason. It is so hard to see the babies who were born on the weekend I miscarried (two in my life specifically) because I feel like I mark time with their age. It was tough knowing that my cousin was in labor and a friend was in labor the weekend I lost mine. Ad I see their chubby little faces on Facebook and it stings a lot.
I know that I am strong. I know that I would get through anything and I know that this child is just as loved and welcomed as the last two pregnancies. But really, if anything happened, I have half a dozen reminders of who wouldn't be here with me and that makes me so sad.
So, I am trusting God and the power of purpose. If my purpose is do that all over again with even more reminders, fine. But I'm really hoping that everything goes well and this child has cousins with the same birthdate. I don't have any indicators that something is wrong, and judging from my emotional roller coaster and crazy pregnancy brain today, I feel like things are right on track. But I really appreciate that you guys are here no matter what path I'm on.
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