Hiring a nanny
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December 7th, 2013, 09:58 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Apr 2012
I nannied up until we moved out to the middle of nowhere... for several families with all kinds of different parenting techniques. I found it pretty easy to adapt to each parent's different needs and styles, but it wasn't until my last job that I really discovered how I wanted to parent my own kids, and that it was a "natural fit" vs just my job.
I think a nanny may be the best bet in care for your kiddos as they are the most adaptable to your personal parenting style. At the end of the day, they are not you, and no other human being will raise your child 100% the way you do. However there are things that you may be able to let go control over (do they put ski pants over the boot, or tuck them in) and things that you will choose not to (discipline, feeding may be examples of this).
I personally think installing a secret camera is wrong. If you don't feel secure enough in the person you chose to hire, it's probably a bad idea to leave them alone with your children. However If that is the only thing that will give you piece of mind, then informing whoever you hire that there is a camera installed would be better. (I'd rather someone think they're being watched and behave accordingly, than not know and catch them do something wrong). You could always say it's "to check in on how the kid's day is going when you aren't there"
Asking questions in an interview (in person, or via email or skype) about their own style and philosophies, and willingness to follow your style before sharing too much info about how you parent is a good indicator, as well offer some scenario based questions, also going with your gut! You should get a good vibe from whoever you speak with. regardless if you hire a local, or someone from overseas, if you aren't feeling like it's a good match, don't feel stuck. It's so much better on everyone to talk out the issues that may come up... and even Mary Poppins would likely have some adjustments to make when working in any new family. You should never continue employing someone you are not comfortable with in your home. Give them the chance to care for your kids with you home, and then start with short blocks of time away. Kids and caregivers always act different around mom and dad, but that doesn't mean they may not totally click when given one on one time! It took me a few weeks at my last job before the kids were totally calm when mom left for work, so sometimes tears, and fussiness aren't a great indicator, BUT do watch for signals from both kids that things are or are not working out well.
From my experience as a nanny, and now as a new mom, I think that you can absolutely find someone who is a good fit for your family, but it may take a few adjustments in terms of your expectations and a few hiccups along the way. But that's ok!
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