24 wk rescan and appt.
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December 13th, 2013, 07:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Rae, the only reason why we kept trying was to say, down the road as older people, that we don't have regrets for NOT trying. That was it. I knew too that this journey could lead to more heartache than joy and that I many never have a baby. But I didn't want to spend my older years wondering "what if" and "should I have". There were dark days last winter when I felt like I had made a mistake trying, because I saw the pain in my poor son's eyes after we lost our last LO. I died a little each time he cried over that loss.
I can only hope that we make it through this one so I can see the joy in his eyes when he holds his baby brother.
Pam - I don't know if I will ever find joy in this pregnancy. Honestly, I know so much about how much CAN go wrong, even up to the very end of 40 weeks, that I'm robbed now. I doubt I have to tell you about the pain of loss. You've endured it all and then some. DH tells me I'm being pessimistic and I don't have a reason to worry, but he doesn't know what I know. He hasn't read the articles, the blogs, the posts of heartbroken women. Maybe I shouldn't have either. But I wanted to know what I faced. I wanted to take nothing for granted. And I don't.
40 yrs young
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