24 wk rescan and appt.
View Single Post
December 13th, 2013, 07:17 AM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Rae, the only reason why we kept trying was to say, down the road as older people, that we don't have regrets for NOT trying. That was it. I knew too that this journey could lead to more heartache than joy and that I many never have a baby. But I didn't want to spend my older years wondering "what if" and "should I have". There were dark days last winter when I felt like I had made a mistake trying, because I saw the pain in my poor son's eyes after we lost our last LO. I died a little each time he cried over that loss.
I can only hope that we make it through this one so I can see the joy in his eyes when he holds his baby brother.
Pam - I don't know if I will ever find joy in this pregnancy. Honestly, I know so much about how much CAN go wrong, even up to the very end of 40 weeks, that I'm robbed now. I doubt I have to tell you about the pain of loss. You've endured it all and then some. DH tells me I'm being pessimistic and I don't have a reason to worry, but he doesn't know what I know. He hasn't read the articles, the blogs, the posts of heartbroken women. Maybe I shouldn't have either. But I wanted to know what I faced. I wanted to take nothing for granted. And I don't.
42 yrs young
Wife to Big Bull 41
Mommy to Big Brother our first Miracle Feb 24 2006
Mommy to Little Brother, our Rainbow, March 24, 2014
Never Forgetting our Angels
View Public Profile
Find all posts by lelila