I'm too old for this!
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January 4th, 2014, 01:42 PM
Love the life you live.
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: VT, USA
Hi ladies... I'm glad to find a page where other mom's might understand where I'm coming from...
I'm 35, divorced with 2 kids that I love more than life. A few months ago I started dating who I thought was a really nice guy, but turned out to have more "issues" than I can handle. Mental health, "alternative lifestyle," and a long list of other things. I don't want to bash him so I won't get into it all. All I know is that the situation, if I allowed it to continue, would be incredibly unhealthy for me and my kids.
Then I found out I'm pregnant... (I was on the pill) I told him and he immediately wanted us to move in together and get married. He doesn't understand why I don't want to- tries to portray as I just don't like his kids which isn't true. What I don't like is his lack of parenting them. Moving along...
I have a good career. I'm a software engineering consultant and get work coming at me from all sides. Financially I don't need him and he knows that- and hates it. I never considered abortion (and won't) because I don't think I could live with myself. I love children and truly didn't think I would ever have more, but the more time passes the more the idea of snuggling a newborn is something I'm looking forward to.
In the next two weeks I'll be moving away from him into my dream home (we're currently neighbors) and he's all bent out of shape that I don't want them coming with me. I'm not willing to have my life completely hijacked. He had it all planned out... I could cart his kids to everything they needed to go to- forget that I work 80 hours a week. Forget that I have two kids too. When I said I couldn't do that he said he would quit his job since my income is "more than enough." Red flags everywhere. Everywhere.... Ugh.
I've made my decisions and I'm ok with them, but I'm anxious as can be about it all. Can I really do this? What about after the baby is born- how much do I have to let him in my life then? It's all very nerve wracking and some times it gets the best of me.
Thanks for letting me share.
Proud mom of 2 beautiful children (and one on the way!), Desiree (3) and Austen (2). Desiree has autism but that just adds to her sparkle.
~Gone but not forgotten.~
Software engineering consultant and state autism advocate.
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