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January 15th, 2014, 03:46 PM
..Michelle..'s Avatar
..Michelle.. ..Michelle.. is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Central Illinois
Posts: 1,298
Cross posted from my DDC If any of you remember me, we got our BFP in December! But here it is (cut/pasted)

I have bipolar 1 as well as social anxiety, depersonalization disorder, panic disorder, slight agoraphobia and anxiety attacks.
I've been off my meds completely since the middle/end of September 2013 so we could safely TTC. Got my BFP on December 27th and up until a week ago the anxiety was under control. Not gone, but manageable.
For the last few days I don't sleep, I have panic attacks when I feel the littlest things and my mind is racing. I feel like a manic episode is coming on because I recognize my symptoms and see the signs.
I go to my OB on Friday at 9am and I don't know if I can wait that long....just because I feel like I'm going out of my mind.
Since losing our son in 2008 I feel like I can't enjoy this pregnancy...like I know something is going to go wrong. At 5 months PG is when we found out about Roman's hydrocephaly and all I can think about is that something is wrong because I have no morning sickness right now...that I'm not "normal" and it's freaking me out.
Then when he came unexpectedly at 30 weeks, 2 days we found out about the cerebral palsy, blindness and he contracted spinal meningitis.
I'm just so worried ALL THE TIME and can't calm down. Before, my meds helped me to be calm but now I have nothing, just relaxation techniques that AREN'T HELPING
I am not going to say I can't do this because, well I HAVE to....but jeeze....it's just becoming SO HARD and I'm only a little over 7 weeks along! I've got (hopefully!) 33 more weeks to bake this bub and I just don't know how I'm going to do it.
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