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January 20th, 2014, 08:25 AM
3maybe 3maybe is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 362
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rebecca.eleanore View Post
Just found out I am about 5 weeks pregnant. This is the first time I've ever been pregnant and I'm honestly excited. I'm 19 my boyfriend of 4 years is 22 and he is absolutely in shock and scared because he has two more years of college still and I have to finish also. He is miserable and hates himself for begging me to get an abortion. He believes he'll already have to leave school, sell all his stuff and find a full time job if I don't have an abortion. I completely agree that we cannot financially support this baby at all and if we choose adoption neither of us will be able to give it up. I absolutely do not want an abortion but I also don't want to ruin both of our opportunities to stay in college and not be struggling parents. I want my baby so bad though please give me advice I truly don't know what to do. Thank you.
Your post took me back...I got pregnant, away at college, at 18. The father was 22. In my case, I left school and had my baby at 19; that baby is now 19 years old and in college! The father and I did not last long and I quickly became a single mom. I can't lie, it was HARD...some days it felt like hell on earth. It took me another nine years to complete my degree. While there were hard times, there were plenty of good times and memories I'll cherish forever. BUT, as an objective adult, I can now say that I'm an advocate of aggressive and increased sex education & birth control education/options. I wish I'd fully taken advantage of my youth and college/young adult experience, which I couldn't do with a baby. I feel like having a child so young & in such a non-traditional manner altered my life so significantly & erased all options of having that "fairytale" life (marriage, 2.5 kids, house, white picket fence, yada yada). While I've done very well for myself, I often wonder what life would have been like had I not had my child, so early in life.

I digress.

For your situation...you've mentioned some key factors. You do not want an abortion. IMO, that takes abortion off the table. It's your body and your decision. Another key point...he wants you to have an abortion, he's scared & consumed with what all he'll have to give up if you decide to have the baby. Understand that means at any point YOU may be totally responsible for this baby. Sure, he can be ordered to pay child support, but that's the easy part; he can't be made to actually help rear the child. With regard to adoption, there are open adoptions. Today, birth parents are making all types of "arrangements/deals" with adoptive parents; it's an option. One thing you didn't mention is your family. My family was awesome and a great support system; would you & your BF have that support?

I think you have to sit down with BF & make the first decision...to abort or have the baby. If you opt to have baby, the next decision is whether or not you will put baby up for adoption or keep & raise baby. Then you can utilize resources either way to assist with either decision.

Good luck either way. I hope something I posted helped you.

Last edited by 3maybe; January 20th, 2014 at 08:29 AM.
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