May be pregnant, ultrasound TODAY and not sure how I feel about it
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January 21st, 2014, 10:13 AM
Join Date: Dec 2013
Hi there! So, my fiance and I have gone back and forth with this possible pregnancy.
I have previously missed several months of my period because of stress (at one point, I missed 6 consecutive months), so a missed period wasn't anything for me to fall to pieces over. My last one was in October, and I started having symptoms in early-to-mid December - morning sickness, extreme bloating, breast tenderness, cravings... all of that.
We had been talking about it as though we were going to keep it (after having taken two tests and getting two positives) and finally we both broke down and admitted that neither of us wanted to have a child at this point in our lives. We are not financially stable, nor did we plan on having kids in the future.
As soon as we admitted that to each other and stopped giving this pregnancy so much attention, symptoms started to slow down so much that they've nearly stopped. No more morning sickness, no frequent urination, or breast swelling, cravings, none of that. I have had two miscarriages in the past, and when I was a young teen I went through a traumatic abortion that I did not want to go through with. I am concerned that I'd only gotten myself worked up and caused a false pregnancy.
Now, I am getting ready to finally go to get a basic ultrasound, and I am so, so nervous. What if there is nothing there and there is something internally wrong with my body, or if I'll need treatment and counselling to cope with a false pregnancy? What if there IS a fetus there and we have to go through an abortion, even with our limited income right now? Even more complicated, what if we see the ultrasound and see something there and rather than both of us feeling one thing or the other, only one of us decides in that moment that we want to keep it?
There are so many what-ifs right now, and I haven't been this nervous in such a long time. Really working up my anxiety today. I suppose I just wanted to reach out to others here and find some support and advice in this.
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