Wanted to vent
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February 4th, 2014, 04:54 AM
Every breath is a gift.
Join Date: Mar 2012
DH has been saying he wanted several children close in age for years now. Practically the whole time we have been together and we hit the 10 year anniversary in January. I was always only wanting 1 kid, 2 tops. During my pregnancy with Toren DH would ask me when we wanted to start ttc again. I would say 1-2 years and he would try to talk me into being ready to try sooner. My reasoning for wanting to wait is because my body desperately needs a break. Plus being pregnant sucks!! If I could skip the whole 9-10 months of nausea, extreme pain, and non-stop stressing out I TOTALLY WOULD!
Anyways, that's the back story.
So yesterday I thought maybe aunt flow showed up. But I've been having my postpartum spotting come and go over and over. Turns out it was the pp spotting unless my period was only heavy for 2 pads then went away completely. I told DH I thought maybe it was my period but then later told him I think it was a false alarm. I brought up the ttc conversation again just to see where he was at with that. Except instead of asking him when HE wanted to ttc again, I made a joke saying "My ovaries are tingling" with a big smile on my face and touching DH's leg as if to gesture naughty insinuations. DH was like "You only get one since you can't even handle him."
I think I've been doing a darn good job! I asked DH why he thought I couldn't handle Toren and he brought up the morning I barely got a wink of sleep and told Toren to stop crying in a pissy tone of voice. Whatever. I was cranky and I felt bad after I said it so I know I wasn't being the best mommy during that moment, but I'm entitled to have my witchy moments... right?
I do NOT want to get pregnant again until 1 or 2 years. But after DH said that... I dunno... it was like reverse psychology or something. Now I'm thinking does he really only want 1? Am I really okay with only having 1? Does he think I can't handle two close in age?
Can I handle two close in age?
It's like when someone tells you that you can't do something, but it makes you want to do it just to prove them wrong.
.... Maybe I do want Toren to have a sibling close in age.
......... But pregnancy sucks so bad!!!! I can't deal with it again right away. I just can't!
I'm sure when the time is right DH and I both will be ready to start trying again. But the fact that he thinks I can't handle it is making me nutty. He's probably right, but I don't like to hear it. Plus I don't want the reason why we don't end up having anymore children is because my hubby doesn't think I can handle anymore. I can't imagine that would make any woman feel good. I want to shake him for saying it!! Grrr
But yea, that is all.
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