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February 4th, 2014, 05:47 AM
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lelila lelila is offline
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 2,930
Awww Ame! I'm sorry you had that conversation at all! It's always a tough decision, especially when you are a brand new mom and dad.

Being a new parent is NOT easy and anyone that throws judgement your way, be it a spouse or relative or friend is not being nice. You've had only ONE witchy moment? Good for you! I can't tell you how many times both DH and I just sat there in tears because we didn't know what the heck to do with DS at times. And I've raised several children!

Cut yourself some slack - and DH too, he is probably feeling pretty overwhelmed at the moment, and doesn't want to admit it. Afterall, now he has two people relying on him. Pretty Scary. Imagine adding another one right away? He may just be saying you can't handle one, when really, it's him that can't handle one. It's projection, and it's something people do in high stress.

Don't let it get to you dear! You are going a great job. It's very easy to pick on the little things during this time - everything is new and scary and it is so easy to over analyze everything that happens - because you both want to be perfect.

About having a second right away - trust your instinct. You will know when you are ready. My advice is don't have a baby for someone else, that includes Toren. Both DH and you need to want it and feel ready. If you are feeling uneasy, talk to your OB about how long your body AND your mind needs to heal.
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