5 weeks pregnant. More than a little conflicted.
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February 11th, 2014, 10:40 AM
Join Date: Feb 2014
Location: Ontario, Canada
Good grief, I posted about my surprise pregnancy on two other forums before coming here, and people were vicious! I'm feeling more discouraged than ever.
Please be nice. It's not graceful, I know, but I don't need more criticism, please, I've had plenty.
Here's what happened. I recently had to switch BC after 7 years of use because my brand was discontinued. I tried a new one, but I had horrible side effects and had to stop before I finished the first pack. I spoke to my doctor about it and she suggested I take a couple of months off of BC before trying a new one.
We used a sloppy combination of mixed contraceptives in the downtime - it was part calendar, part condom, part spermicide. Obviously, something went wrong somewhere. I was really upset when I found out, but my husband was ecstatic - I knew he wanted kids, but we had agreed it was not a good time; we are still working on paying off our wedding and some other debts, and we're not exactly raking in the dough.
I had more I wanted to do with my 'single' life - vacations, traveling, parties, furthering my education... now that the news has settled a bit, I'm coping with it a bit better and trying to look at the bright side - how cool is it that I'm carrying another life inside of me? - but I'm also really scared that I'm not ready and that having a child now will only get in the way of trying to better myself, and I feel like kids could have come a lot more comfortably later (I'm almost 24). My husband is super excited and can't wait to tell people, but I'm dreading telling people because I'm secretly pretty disappointed. I don't think an abortion is even a remote possibility - I would never be able to forgive myself - but I'm having trouble coming to terms with it and I can't seem to convince myself that this isn't the beginning of the end.
Anyone have advice/insight? How did you cope with your surprise? Heck, even just post cute photos or tell me about some of the wonderful things I have to look forward to! Any and all advice/encouragement appreciated... thanks for reading.
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