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April 1st, 2014, 08:32 AM
rachelc0's Avatar
rachelc0 rachelc0 is offline
TTC a Rainbow
Join Date: Dec 2013
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 517
i left my regular church when i felt abandoned by them, and it just broke my heart. all through high school i was very active in our tiny church. i taught vacation bible school and taught music to the sunday school. i sang in the choir and at least once a month had a solo for regular church service. i participated in the youth activities and loved every single minute.

when i was 19 (and not married) i got pregnant with my son. i didn't think it would have any effect on my church life but it did. i wasn't asked to teach at VBS. they didn't want me to sing at christmas time (which i did every single year). i finally asked one of the organists and she said that it was brought up during one of the counsel meetings that i no longer participate in the church's activities until at least the baby was born. i was confused because singing wasn't any health risk for my pregnancy. she said the church was worried about a pregnant unwed teen teaching the bible school.

i was devistated. i had given my entire soul to a church that was ready to can be when i needed them most. i don't know whatelse had happened, but this and i imagine a few other reasons caused the pastor to leave. he was always so willing to have me at the new church he was at, but it just wasn't the same. sure i enjoyed the pastor. but the congregation. the kids. the beauty and history of the church itself. it seemed tainted after everything that happened.

when my son was 13mo old, i married his dad and all of a sudden, the church was willing to welcome me back with open arms. but i don't feel welcome. when i run into old church-folks they always say "it's been a long time since you've graced the church with music, you should come and sing for old time sake" and i just smile but i can't bring myself to go back.

because of all this, DH and i sat down and had a long coversation about what religion we would raise our children. the church had abanonded me so abruptly that we chose to baptise in the catholic church (DH's church). he's been pushing me to convert and i really don't want to do that. so i've been sitting in limbo, looking for another church i can call my own.
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