pregnant/afraid/undecided DESPERATE FOR ADVICE
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May 10th, 2014, 08:01 PM
It can get confusing, but you are 4 weeks pregnant. They count the two weeks following your period as being pregnant even though you actually werenít at that point. But thatís how itís calculated usually
So you are 4 weeks.
I wouldnít worry about income, even though I know thatís hard. You are already done school, which is a major accomplishment! Taking time off work to parent doesnít look bad at all. So many moms (and dads) take time off to stay home with their kids. There is nothing wrong with working a job outside of your career for now, either.
Iíll give you a little insight into my life. Iím still working on my bachelors and have to complete my masters as well. Depending on if I can get the right classes or not, I have about 3-4 years left. Thatís if I go full time. I most likely wonít be able to go full time, do to time and finances so itíll take longer. My fiancť has graduated and just started a new job. That job is only going to pay $30,000 in the first year, after that itíll be $50,000 which is middle class here. A family can easily live nicely off $50,000. Iím not sure what a teachers salary is where you live, but where I am itís around $40,000/year to start. Thatís very easy to live off of.
All the fears and worries you are having are completely normal. Iíve been with my fiancť for 3 years and there are times when I have those same worries. There isnít much I can say for it other than try not to think about it too much. Your hormones are changing, your stressed and over-thinking things, which is completely normal. Trust me, those fears are normal.
If you decide later on that you donít want to be with him, thatís completely fine. There is nothing wrong with having a child with an ex as long as you can still get along for the child. Many people do it and that shouldnít be a reason to not have the child. There is also nothing wrong with abortion IF itís what you really want. So many women (and man sometimes as well) regret abortion, I donít want that to happen to you. Based on what you said about sometimes wanting the baby and sometimes not, I donít think abortion is the best decision for you. I think you want this baby, but you are just scared. Iíll be honest with you, with this baby I didnít start to feel really good about it all the time until recently and Iím 17 weeks. If I have a fight with fiancť, those thoughts and feelings come back up for a little while. It can take time to get use to the idea of being a mother, planned or unplanned. Donít feel guilty about not being excited, eventually you will be it just takes time
Itís also completely normal to have miss the lifestyle. I donít have that fear because I donít party, rarely go out and love being at home. But many people do have that fear. Things are going to change and change can be hard to get use to. You can still do things when the baby gets here. Moms (and dads) take time do go out with friends, attend the occasional party (though not as often as you are probably use to) and getting away. You can definitely go to the lake when you have a child. You can go on vacations as well.
All the feelings your feeling are normal. Take as much time as you need to get use to the idea and feel excited. I feel pretty strongly that if you feel at all that you want to keep the baby, abortion probably isnít for you. However, abortion is always an option.