Long 6 weeks
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October 23rd, 2006, 02:58 PM
Jessica, I think you bring up an interesting point about feeling like Oh my God this it he is now dead. Of course anyone would feel that after seeing the baby on the floor but those of us who have gone through a loss probably feel it more. Like I knew it would happen, the baby will be taken from me. I feel like that a lot. We had brought Sadie in for a jaundice check when she was 4 or 5 days old (my first had jaundice so I was paranoid about it) and the doctor checking her found a heart murmur! I just about passed out. I was so sure this was it, she was going to die right there on the table. Turns out heart murmurs in newborns are so common that most doctors don't even tell the parents - of course this one felt the need to freak me out I guess.
Then I took Sadie in last week for a rash on her arm and in the back of my mind I was thinking - it's cancer I know it. It wasn't, it was just a little atopic dermatitis. But my point in here somewhere is even though we made it through healthy pregnancies and have healthy babies those losses have scarred us for life. We will probably always have that in the back of our minds that this baby might be taken from us...