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October 29th, 2006, 09:34 PM
ShawnaCAN's Avatar
ShawnaCAN ShawnaCAN is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: Alberta, Canada
Posts: 11,397
I think the biggest reason guys are opposed to the idea is because they care about us, and have a pre-conceived notion that it won't be safe and we'll get hurt. Before entering any discussion, I think it's important to remember that his concern *is* likely at the root of his opposition!

My DH wasn't too gung ho at first, but went along with it because it was important to me. Two things that helped convince him was watching "Gentle Birth Choices" together, and he was able to understand a bit more about the difference between an orchestrated hospital birth and birthing at home.

The other thing was my poop analogy. Sorry, I'm a farm girl - it's just the closest way for a guy to relate to birth! I asked him to think about when he needs to take a big poo, like one that requires some work to get out and maybe even some pain. Imagine if you couldn't do that privately - but had to be up on a table, with a spotlight on your #####, people sticking their fingers in to see if the poo was coming yet, telling when and how to push it out, everybody staring at you. How would that go? He agreed that it would probably inhibit the process more than help it. So then I asked him to consider being able to go into his own private bathroom where he's relaxed and comfortable, to just sit and concentrate and do what he needed to do - going along with his body's urges to get it out; relaxing when he needs to, working on it when he needs to. That made sense to him.

It was really only after we'd been through it that he was really enthusiastic about it, since we'd already been through the hospital routine twice before and he was able to compare the difference. He couldn't believe how much calmer I was at home, how much easier the birth was, and how much faster I recovered.
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