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  #15  
November 9th, 2006, 06:17 AM
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LaLa LaLa is offline
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 11,576
Kids definitely pick up on other peoples anxieties. I think thats one thing that really helped my son. Granted, hes a bit older, hes 7, but u know - a lot of kids have the same concerns regardless of their age. They worry for mommy. I made a LOT of noise, the most of it while he was in there, and I think he did get concerned (esp when I screamed "HELP ME" lol. ) But he knew to expect it, and both my doula & my DH said about that time, when he got that concerned look, he looked around at everyone else's face - he was trying to see if anyone else seemed worried, because he was unsure if he should be or not. When he looked around, both my DH & my Doula smiled & nodded to him and whispered "That means your baby sister is just about to come out - look for the head!", and he grinned. Still a bit cautious, but happy that nobody else seemed worried. Had someone looked concerned or worried, im sure that he would have picked up on it. But - I had a room full of people who all had done this numerous times, and who knew what was happening & everyone was confident in the birth process.

So, just consider that when deciding about your MIL. perhaps if youd like her there to show her how normal it all is - you could have her in the house, but doing something like cooking a stew or a meal for the midwife & assistant & you while youre ni labor, and then just bring her in for the actual birth (if at all). Maybe not even all of the pushing stage, but just the birth part. If shes doing something to feel helpful & keep her busy like cooking, it might not be so bad.

i debated having my SIL there, b/c she would have been a good help & she has simliar views as your MIL from the sounds of it. But - i ended up deciding against it - mostly b/c shes also a very "blunt " personality & I was worried shed give the MW a hard time with all the "are you sure thats ok?" and "isnt there something you should be doing?" etc lol.

Lala...
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