Need some advice..
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December 10th, 2006, 03:02 PM
Yes he goes to the appointments with me for one he didn't because he wasn't around..and the next one is next week but he doesn't really need to go only becuz it's just bloodwork. But I just sometimes feel like maybe I jumped the gun. We've known each other for 3 years and we started dating in August when I came home..My ex bf at that time and I had broken up back in May but we still lived together..When I had, had enough I moved back home and now here I am. And I told him I can't jump into something so quickly when I just left something so recent. And my doctor had told me it would be hard for me to conceive we did the precautions ness. but well here we are today and I am almost 4 months pregnant so obviously it wasn't planned. When I go in next week for that bloodwork I am going to talk to a nurse about some things. I honestly feel that if he doesn't want to put forth the effort in a way where he can stop pushing me for an engagement/marriage, and moving in together so quickly I can't be around it. And here's the worse part, he's still "technically" married. In the eyes of the law he still is. He's legally seperated, but the divorce papers aren't filed completely yet..Of course his ex is with another man and living with him too but I just don't feel fully comfortable. And I thought he was already divorced, obviously if I knew he was still "technically" married I wouldn't have been with him until he was divorced. Do you think it's bad if I told him because this has been since August that if he doesn't get a divorce finalized by end of December that I can't be with him? I just can't handle it. And he himself even said if his ex found out she'd obviously be very hurt, and she has some mental issues and I'm afraid she won't give him the divorce if she did. And well now I am starting to show a little bit and in 4 more weeks we find out if it's a boy or a girl. I am feeling so confused and ready to just throw in the towel and my parents are backing me up 110%..So at least I have that. He told me by the end of November the divorce would be finalized.
(((HUGS))) You have a lot going on. I hope you'll consider staying with this man... he is your baby's daddy. I think every child deserves the opportunity to grow up in a home with both mom and dad if it's at all possible. Relationships are tough, and marriage isn't any easier. The only thing about marriage is that you have your promises to keep you honest and make you work a little harder at solving the problems together rather than allowing them to tear you apart.
It's great that you have your parents supporting you no matter what happens, but I would urge you to work this out with your BF. I'm not suggesting you marry him just because you're having a baby together, but if you could work things out to the point where you could give him a chance at being your husband and his baby's father, I believe it will work out for you in the long run.
Hang in there!
Thanks..We talked not too long ago in the week and we did sort out a lot of issues and what not. I think with the pressure on me doing this that and the other thing it was a lot..And with him wanting to move so quickly it was pushing me away in my mind. So of course I am going to give us a chance and we are still together. Of course no relationship is perfect and we all have our faults. And I think once I am not pregnant anymore and the baby is here I think it will be so much better..And he has been giving me my space and time needed when I ask him to and that's all I can ask and I thank him for it all the time. If it doesn't work out for us in the end then sure we'll always have each other, and know we created something amazing and special together. But I'm definitely not looking to get married right away, maybe engaged after we've been together for a year or so and then married not too long after that..But I think I just felt so pressured that I was pushing him away and felt he was pushing me. But thanks for you're input. I loved it and appreciate it like you have no idea.