Mourning the loss of my home birth
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December 27th, 2006, 10:55 AM
Doula & MW Apprentice
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Galveston, TX
Hon - I wept reading your story. Not because of your 'failure' because you did not fail birth - the birthteam failed you! I wept because of the pain YOU WERE CAUSED. The emotional and physical pain that the nurse, doctor, and hospital caused - it is just horrible.
Can I elaborate on some things?
If your baby was coming out cockeyed like that, they put your head lower than your body to try to encourage him to float so that he could reposition himself and decend better. BUT - having you on your back was worse than having you in the knee-to-chest position as back-lying defeats the 'float' purpose. Your mw should have known this - but perhaps she was too shocked by the medical team...
If they had not put pitocin in your line, your little man would have had a better chance of getting himself in the right position. They literally compounded the problem by giving you pit - that is a malpractice lawsuit in and of itself.
I have to say: shame on your mw... I don't know if anyone else noticed - but you were handling your labor FINE. Albiet it was long, but you were FINE until she instilled fear into you about 'how long' and suggested transfer. This, more than anything, could have been avoided by simply giving you the choice - not all the doubt and fear! And yes, I agree with crunchy - where were they as your advocates?!!
You did NOT fail in your birth. Your body brought forth a beautiful child. Grieve, yes, grieve - you have a right to. Mourn and then allow yourself to heal! You are triumphant through this because you will come out stronger and more prepared next time. You are a beautiful and strong woman.
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