Am I Nuts?
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February 4th, 2007, 11:43 PM
Join Date: Dec 2006
I'm not even pregnant yet but I have way too much free time on my hands after housekeeping ... so I think and worry every day about things that don't really matter atm!
Here's my thing. I've been thinking, reading everything I can get my hands on, and asking myself what's right. Obviously this is about a homebirth since it's on the Homebirth Board, though, right?
I definitely want a homebirth ... there is no question in my mind. That's what it'll be unless later there's some definite reason I have to have a c-section or something. But I keep thinking that I want to go unassisted. I hate strangers, don't like people touching me in general, etc; the one time I thought about how it must have been for my mom to have me in a hospital with people sticking their hands in her and shining lights down on my head I wanted to cry! That seems wrong in my heart. So I thought about a birth center or having a midwife come to my house ... well the nearest birth center is pretty far but then I started thinking "why bother?". So I stopped considering that. I think I would feel just as strange at a birth center as I would in a hospital.
But being at home just feels right for most things IMO. Including birth. That might change when I get pregnant, idk ... we'll see how that goes but at the moment, if I was having a baby RIGHT NOW, there is no way I would want to go to the hospital, rush to a birth center, or even call a midwife. I would want to just do that here on my own.
Am I totally crazy? To be thinking about it when I'm not even pg yet, yeah that probably means I'm crazy.
But I mean, to want an unassisted birth? Does it matter that it would be my first is another thing ... should I have a midwife or go to a birth center the first time just to be sure I don't "mess up"? That sounds ridiculous to me ... people have babies all the time and that's what my body's supposed to do ... but I'm a total worrywart with too much time on my hands.
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