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February 20th, 2007, 08:21 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar
*Bobbie* *Bobbie* is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Tuesday 2-20-07, 11w6d.... 6days since my baby's soul left me

Well, sad to say I got my old boobs back And my baby bump is going away pretty fast. It's no longer hard, back to the squishy tummy. I guess if I never went to the Dr. I would have known by now that something was wrong. My body is realizing the baby isn't alive anymore. I am happy for that small blessing.

Dave ran a bath for me last night and I broke down and cried again. I just couldn't take my clothes off and get in. I am pregnant without a baby. It hurts. Luckily he has been very understanding and cries right along with me. We wanted this baby soooooo ###### bad.

We decided to bury it under the tree with our cat that passed away on Halloween. Jesse James would have loved this baby and will watch over it for us. That gives me some peace. Jesse's life was cut short at a year and a half when he got hit by a car. He was one awesome cat. He was a F2 (high percentage) Chausie. He had over 40% wild blood in him and he was just amazing. But stubborn! LOL

I managed to eat some soup last night. Then I got drunk. I know NOT a good idea, but I needed to. I just wanted to feel normal for a couple hours. It worked. Dave and I sat there drinking wine watching tv and talking (not crying) about how much we loved and wanted this baby. It was a pretty good night considering.

I don't know what to do with the baby stuff I bought. I guess I will return what I can. I also bought maternity clothes the other day. Yes I was in them already. I got a baby bump fast with this one. At least most of them still have the tags on them.

My stomach is a mess today. It is so upset. I think it's from not eating much, drinking and stress. I also feel like I could through up at any moment.

It sounds weird to say it, but I feel like my cervix is opening. I am not bleeding at all yet, but it just feels like pressure down there every now and then. And my back is killing me.

Maybe this will happen soon. I hope so. I am ready to be able to move on.
__________________
Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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