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February 28th, 2007, 11:38 AM
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Colee Colee is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Northeastern Ohio
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My story is somewhat different...
My Son was born May 11 2005...by time he was 2 weeks old I found myself lashing out...to my husband,to family/friends...even to my own daughter I was so overwhelmed and wanted to do it all by myself...I refused help from anyone.

I remember one night,trying to get my colicky son to sleep...I was just crying and sobbing. My dh came into Ryan's room and asked me what was going on(he heard my sobs thru the monitor). I asked him if we could give Ryan up for adoption. I BEGGED him...to give our son away! When he said we couldnt because Emily would miss her brother...I started to have rational thoughts of HOW we could explain to her why her brother was givien away

This is when I realized I had a problem.

Over the course of the next couple of monthes things went crazy for me. I had constant thoughts of death. How I could run my car off the road,to look like an accident,but really be suicide. I never had harmful thoughts about Ryan...either one of the children. But I constantly thought about harming myself....that my children would be better off without me

I did things completly out of my charactor. Things I am very ashamed about...when I finally went to my dh and explained what I had done...I knew I needed to get help.

I started seeing a therapist and to this day I still see her. Ryan will be 2 in May and I know I no longer have PPD. But I am depressed still,from other issues. PPD can be treated,and does go away with time....getting the help I needed was the best move I ever made!

I have had to mess with meds ALOT to get the right combo for me. That was discouraging...but currently I am taking Paxil and that seems ok.

Ladies...dont be ashamed. If you feel this way ever,especially after birth...get help! There is no reason to cloud your joy of a new baby with depression.

Good luck
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Nichole,Mommy to Emily and Ryan
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