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March 9th, 2007, 07:42 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar
*Bobbie* *Bobbie* is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Friday 3-9-07,14w2d

10:20am I officially give up on this happening. Last night I woke up at 2:45am to pretty bad contractions. And heavy bleeding. I woke Dave up and then decided to try and get whatever it was out. It was a wierd piece of tissue. It was 3inx2in and just looked strange. It wasn't the baby. But I don't know what it was. It has now been over two days and I am worried about how much longer it will be. I don't have a fever, so that's good I guess. The bleeding is almost gone again. Why is this process so slow?

I am supposed to go back to work Sunday. I don't see that happening. At this rate it feels like it will be weeks. I can't start to heal till this is done. I also can't stand for more than a couple minutes yet, let alone hours. I know work will be mad... but I can't help it.

Dave went to work. I hate being alone, but he can't stay home forever. If I need him, he can be home in 20 minutes. My mom wants to come over. I love her, but her "mothering" wears me out sometimes. I just feel like I won't be able to relax if she is here. I just want to lay in bed and watch tv. I don't want to have to talk about every little ache or pain. I know it hurts her that I don't want her coming over, but there isn't anything she can do for me right now.

3:45pm Okay I know I said I understood that Dave had to work but the jerk didn't call me for 5 hours! I could have been dead and he wouldn't have known. I am soooo mad at him. How can he just go on with life knowing I am home alone miscarrying our baby. God I hate men! It just makes me want to move away by myself so I don't have to always be dissapointed by him. I am not sure I even want to try again for another baby. If he can leave me now like this and not even call, what kind of a man is he? It only takes two seconds to call and ask how I am.

Anyways.... I am feeling crappy again. The dull pelvic pinching is back. I feel sick to my stomach and dizzy when I stand up. I did manage to take a shower and have moved from laying on the bathroom floor to my bed again. I feel halfway human.

I hate being as stubborn as I am. I hate wanting to have someone there for me when I KNOW I don't need anyone. I can do anything I set my mind to, but my stupid heart doesn't always listen to my mind I guess I just want to be mad at the world for a while......
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Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (23) Amanda (20) Matthew ( 6) and Daniel (4).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (24) and Krista (21)
step-grandma to: Wesley, Rosemarie, Scarlett



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon.
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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