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March 9th, 2007, 07:42 AM
*Bobbie*'s Avatar
*Bobbie* *Bobbie* is offline
Platinum Supermommy
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: Rochester, NY
Posts: 15,851
Friday 3-9-07,14w2d

10:20am I officially give up on this happening. Last night I woke up at 2:45am to pretty bad contractions. And heavy bleeding. I woke Dave up and then decided to try and get whatever it was out. It was a wierd piece of tissue. It was 3inx2in and just looked strange. It wasn't the baby. But I don't know what it was. It has now been over two days and I am worried about how much longer it will be. I don't have a fever, so that's good I guess. The bleeding is almost gone again. Why is this process so slow?

I am supposed to go back to work Sunday. I don't see that happening. At this rate it feels like it will be weeks. I can't start to heal till this is done. I also can't stand for more than a couple minutes yet, let alone hours. I know work will be mad... but I can't help it.

Dave went to work. I hate being alone, but he can't stay home forever. If I need him, he can be home in 20 minutes. My mom wants to come over. I love her, but her "mothering" wears me out sometimes. I just feel like I won't be able to relax if she is here. I just want to lay in bed and watch tv. I don't want to have to talk about every little ache or pain. I know it hurts her that I don't want her coming over, but there isn't anything she can do for me right now.

3:45pm Okay I know I said I understood that Dave had to work but the jerk didn't call me for 5 hours! I could have been dead and he wouldn't have known. I am soooo mad at him. How can he just go on with life knowing I am home alone miscarrying our baby. God I hate men! It just makes me want to move away by myself so I don't have to always be dissapointed by him. I am not sure I even want to try again for another baby. If he can leave me now like this and not even call, what kind of a man is he? It only takes two seconds to call and ask how I am.

Anyways.... I am feeling crappy again. The dull pelvic pinching is back. I feel sick to my stomach and dizzy when I stand up. I did manage to take a shower and have moved from laying on the bathroom floor to my bed again. I feel halfway human.

I hate being as stubborn as I am. I hate wanting to have someone there for me when I KNOW I don't need anyone. I can do anything I set my mind to, but my stupid heart doesn't always listen to my mind I guess I just want to be mad at the world for a while......
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Bobbie mom to : Jeremy (22) Amanda (19) Matthew ( 4) and Daniel (3).... RYAN DAVID 1/4/14 8lbs 10oz 20 3/4 inches!!! My miracle happened!
step-mom to: Stephany (23) and Krista (20)
step-grandma to: Wesley (3), Rosemarie (7 months)



On 1/31/12 at exactly 16 weeks pregnant Noah came too soon. He was our 7th loss
If you would like to see pictures of my sweet (but tiny) boy they can be viewed at www.caringbridge.org/visit/noahdarrohn they aren't the easiest pictures to look at but I am willing to share them with anyone who would like to see them <3
On August 2, 2012 we lost Sarah at 17 weeks. She was our 8th loss Her pictures can be viewed at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/sarahdarrohn
There is no known explanation for my losses.

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