DH having doubts...
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May 11th, 2007, 11:33 AM
Join Date: Dec 2006
My DF gets that way about some things. I had him reading about perineal massage and his comment was "Oh, I hope you don't need that. I won't want to touch you down there while you're in labor."
Excuse me? He had no problem touching me there before! How does he think I got this way!?
It really does irk me that he says those kinds of things, but he doesn't realize it hurts me so much. Even after I explain it, he has trouble understanding. And I can kind of see that ... it's not happening to his body, so he's kind of detached, and his mother always told him those kinds of things were "dirty". He repeats her comments without thinking. But when the time comes he steps up to the plate, which is really what matters. Is your DH the same kind of guy? Does he get squeamish when DS is sick or does he suck it up to show he cares? When you were having morning sickness (if you did), did he say "EEW" or did he hold your hair back like my DF does? When I talk about bodily functions in the abstract, yes, it's a scary thing and DF would rather someone else be in charge of them, but when he really sees me "in need" he wants to be my knight in shining armor! Maybe when it comes down to it he'll change his tune ... I mean, when it really hits him that this is his wife and child.
If it will make you more comfortable, though, maybe you should ask another "support person" to be there, if there's a close friend or relative who'd be willing. That way he won't be your only option for someone to talk to and be there for you. Hopefully that would take away some of your worry, knowing you will still have support no matter what.
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