maybe my issue with my inlaws comment, was the way it was said. almost like adopted kids are SO much less than your own. and it was said VERY snarkily. i know my hubby really DOESNT know if he would love an adopted baby as much.. but i think if we had a baby-baby, and watched it develop and grow just like we did our DD, i dont see how we COULD love it any less..or any differently.
i completely understand feeling that way about adopted older kids tho.. you dont get to really raise them as much as the others. but i think eventually it would be different.

and AHIXON, you cant blame yourself, when those babies were born, you had it in your mind that you were their AUNT.. not their mom. its one thing to automatically consider yourself a childs mother from the moment you lay eyes on them, but completely different to have treated them like your neice/nephew, then have to switch to mommy mode with the same kids.

ETA:"with the same kids." to clarify