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July 8th, 2007, 12:03 PM
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KBeans KBeans is offline
Believe in your body
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: Vegas (born and raised in south Jersey)
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i am just giving it up, im not getting a VBAC. the end. the doctor's im finding would have done it after ONE cesarean but not after 2 and we cannot afford the midwife, i looked into every option and if we do end up in the hospital with a homebirth then we don't even get any money back, so we spent unnecessary money, and possibly all that money to end up in an emergency c-section. believe me i have been fighting tooth and nail to get my VBAC and no one will do it, and although it is my choice, i know i can get away with it if im dishonest, i don't want to be dishonest and have to stress lying and worrying what if something happens while laboring at home etc....

i did get to talk to that new doctor and he was GREAT. i loved his disposition and his honesty, and he will be my doctor no matter what. he is all for natural birth and natrual methods and is compeltely ok with a 36 hour laboring mom. he just cannot do a VBA2C. he did explain to me that they hospitals now have a new tool the doctors pretty much forced them to get, it's a retractable and it allows them to do a c-seciton with a smaller incision andwithout havig to remove anything but baby, no more removing uterus and throwing it on your stomach to clean it etc...they can do everything with keeping it in you and like i said, a smaller cut. he said it is getting most moms out of the hospital within 1-2 days instead of 3-4 days and they are healing faster.

i don't want another cesarean but i also don't want the stresses that are going to come along with the VBAC. so whatever...i have 7 more months to see what goes on, but im guessing this will just end up in a cesarean yet again.


PS. i talked to my mom about my first birth, because i don't remember much from it, and she said she had never seen anyone high like i was after they gave me the demoral. that she even asked the nurse if i was going to overdose cause i went pale and was acting so crazy. she was so scared, she really thought i was going to O.D. and then i asked if i signed the cesarean papers or if she did and she said she remembers me signing something on my way INTO the operating room...which i was so friggin doped up i do NOT remember.....she did say i was screaming about how much pain i was in and how i wanted the baby out no matter how, but i wasn't really CONSCIOUS! i feel liek they did that on purpose, knowing i would start asking fro a cesarean because i was high. and my mom said the doctor was getting agitated and wanted to get out of there, he was tired of being there.

gosh i wish i could go back so bad.
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