Mixing biological children & adopted children
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July 20th, 2007, 06:47 AM
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Carolina Girls... Are the best in the world!
Hi, my name's Kristina, and I have an eight month old son - whom I adore! My husband, Kurt, (who I also adore!
) and I have been talking about the number of kids we want recently. We've always discussed adoption as a possibility, mainly if I wasn't able to get pregnant. But, after going through my first pregnancy I'm not sure I can do it again multiple times with multiple older kids to take care of while I'm pregnant. My first pregnancy wasn't terrible - I just had morning sickness the entire time - then I had some complications healing after giving birth. I'm not sure I'd be able to do this with 2 or 3 kids running around the house needing my attention all the time. We plan to have one or two more biological children, and adopt (possibly) one more child.
Anyway... on to my question. As my husband and I were discussing adoption, I just kept thinking that there was no way I'd ever be able to love an adopted child as much as I love my son. I know I'll love each of my children in a different manner whether they are adopted or biological, so I'm not worried about adopting a child and loving him/her differently than I love my son - I'm only worried about not loving him/her as much. Does that make sense? Any insight into this would be wonderful.
Also, what are your opinions with mixing children from different countries with your biological children? I have such a passion for children abroad - either from China, Africa or Europe. I've been on mission trips to both China and a few lower-income European countries and I would love to go to Africa on a missions trip, as well. Plus, if I'm going to adopt, I want it to be a child that will be getting a much higher level of living standards by being adopted by my family. If that makes any sense at all.
Okay, I'm rambling now, but I'd love any advice/options/suggestions that you ladies have. If you're anything like the Nov 06 Playroom ladies you've got a wealth of information between you and I'm here to tap into that!
I have 2 daughters. Hannah is 4 1/2 and Emily is 3 1/2. I struggled for over 5 years to get pregnant. I went throught a lot to become a mother. We had looked a little into adopting a child but nothing really serious. One day out of the blue this woman decided that she wanted to give us her baby. (there is a little more to the story) Anyhoo... she knew that she could not keep the baby and she did not want her to go back to Mexico with her family. We took custody of her (she was 6 weeks old at the time we took custody).
We completed the entire adoption process and three weeks later I found out I was 8 weeks pregnant. I stuggled with the same questions. Will I love them the same? Will our family love them the same? Will I love Hannah more than Emily? Will I love Emily more than Hannah.
I love them the same and I love them for being different. I love the way that each of them came into our lives. I love the blessings they both bring to our family. I love the ways that they both complete our family.
Every mother, I think will at some point ask herself those questions when they are thinking of expanding their family. When you have one child that you love so much, you wonder how you can love someone else... even close to that. But trust me you do.
Our daughters are different races and I wondered if that would be a problem. You will encounter ignorant people that will ask you the most insensitive questions. But, I just grin an bear it.
What ever you decide to do. It will be the right decision for you and your family.
<div align="center">Mommy to two beautiful princesses...
One of my babies I carried in my heart and one I carried under my heart...
Remember... behind every successful mother.. there is a basket of dirty laundry!!!</div>
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