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August 13th, 2007, 10:08 PM
Join Date: May 2007
Please introduce yourself![/b]
OMG!! I was just looking at the posts and I'm like
why in the world is my screen name one of the topics? did i do that? ooops....i didnt mean to do that
Scared me a little. I'm sorry I didnt know I was supposed to introduce myself. I apologize.
My name is Zakiyyah, and I am 37 weeks pregnant. I'm 26 and a FTM. Its crazy because as many times as I've clicked on the pregnancy section since I've joined, I'm just now seeing this subforum. Basically I was on the rebound from a previous break up and I got married at the end of September 2006 to a man that I barely knew. My whole family was against it. I have no explanation for my actions other than I was on the rebound. I am known to be a very rational and logical individual but I guess I was just so hurt about the way that my previous marriage had ended....I just wanted the hurt to stop? I dont know. So I marry this man and by December I'm moving to Ohio with him and his 2 year old daughter. Long story short he apparently believes that making me pregnant will somehow 'seal the deal' with me. I say this because apparently he was trying to get me pregnant and I slipped up. Getting me pregnant would somehow make me stay with him once all his sh@# came out. So anyway three months later stuff is coming out about him and I guess he doesnt believe he owes me any sort of explanation or apology or anything and I leave. I'm currently in the process of being divorced...hopefully that will be final soon after my lovely Zarinah is born.
On the much brighter side of things I'm 37 weeks pregnant with a beautiful baby girl. Zarinah Marie is her name (I havent quite decided whether or not I'm giving her his last name). Its Persian as well as African and it means 'made of gold.' I'm currently living in California with my mom and sister who take good care of me. I have a very loving and supportive family and no matter what my soon to be ex-husband decides to do as far as his daughter is concerned, she'll be well taken care of. She will have excellent father figures in her life and frankly I dont really care if he ever shows her his face. I'm not bitter though. I believe that we are all in control of our own actions and the only people that we can blame for the situation we're in is our own da%* selves. I'm where I am right now because of the choices that I've made. I can't make him be the father that I believe he should be, I cant make him believe that she has rights over him....so why stress myself out? I'm already borderline high risk...I cannot afford to be bitter. All I can do is do everything in my power to make sure that she has the best life that she can possibly have. Anyways I'm sure I've given waay TMI....but there's my intro
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