Pregnant with new bf
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August 25th, 2007, 04:32 PM
Hey Vanilla, welcome to JM!
First of all, it sounds like you've really already made up your mind about the situation. You know you want to have the baby, and that is pretty much that. The next step would be to tell your BF. I know, easier said than done. I had been with my BF only 6 months when I got pregnant. It was one of the most difficult conversations I've ever had.
What I'd be careful with, is that it sounds like you've kind of already made up your BF's mind as well. You don't want him to leave you, you don't want to be alone in this, and you even say:
I don't want to be a single mom, I'd like him to stay with me through that. How can I tell him without freaking him out? We're talking about someone who didn't want a relationship and broke his rules for me but is still taking is slow... so how am I going to say "well by the way, you might not be ready for a relationship but you're going to have to because, oh, yes! You're going to be a dad too!"[/b]
The fact of the matter is that none of us want to be alone in this. Of course it isn't an ideal situation. And I really do hope he sticks it out with you and does the best he can to be a dad. But you can't force someone to be in a relationship with you, even with a baby involved. And if you try, it may backfire on you. (How many of us like being told how we're going to spend our lives?)
I think I'd try being honest with him, letting him know what the ideal situation for you would be, but also letting him know that you've made up your mind about what you are going to do, but that you will try to respect and support his decision.
I really hope it works out for you! Good luck.