~*~GETTING TO KNOW US~*~
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September 2nd, 2007, 02:41 PM
Mega Super Mommy
Join Date: Sep 2006
Here is a part of what DH wrote a few months ago to read at our kiddos dedication in church....
After about three years of marriage, Ivy and I decided that we had been married long enough and had our lives going in a good direction, so it was time to start building our family. We figured it might take a while, but we were excited about the prospect of a baby. We did not, however, know just what we were getting ourselves into.
You see, in the years that we had been married, Ivy's body had stopped cycling. We took the first year and a half just to try to wake her body up. And it gave us a taste of what type of medication it might take to help us get pregnant. We were already starting to get frustrated but knew that these things were common but could be beat easily. So we went back to Ivy's doctor and began the first series of fertility testing. In May of 2005, Ivy began taking Clomid, a fertility drug. We were very excited as we just knew this would be it. We would get pregnant. Then a month went by, then two, then three….and it wasn’t working. Her body still wasn’t cooperating. Every month, her dose was upped…every month she had to go back for testing. Every month, the test was negative. And every month that went by began to bring more and more heartache. After five months of clomid and almost two years of trying to concieve, our doctor sent us to a fertility specialist.
While waiting for our appointment, Ivy began to feel weird. She had strange pain that couldn’t be described. She was uncomfortable, irritable…It finally got to the point that she just couldn’t handle the pain anymore, so we went to the ER. That day, in October of 2005, we got a positive pregnancy test. We were overjoyed, to say the least. We had just bought our house and the fertility treatments were beginning to take a toll on us. Depression was starting to kick in. We just knew this was a miracle and the answer to our prayers.
Unfortunately, Ivy miscarried just days after getting the positive test. It was devastating. After trying for so long and praying so hard, it was like God had ripped our miracle away from us. She laid on our couch and sobbed for days. I felt useless. There was nothing I could do.
Ten days after the miscarriage, we picked ourselves up and went to meet our fertility specialist. He calmed my fears, explained how the miscarriage happened, and moved us forward. Ivy had to continue to take a drug called Prometrium and in December, she went in for surgery. The diagnosis was not promising. Ivy had stage two, almost stage three, endometriosis and polycystic ovarian syndrome. We were told our protocol for the next stage in our treatments. This included multiple ultrasounds, 7 different medications, daily shots, and artificial insemination. I couldn’t picture us going through this. We had always promised ourselves we would not get invasive, and here we were, so desperate to have a baby, that we were taking steps we never thought we would. We tried so hard to reconcile it all. Ivy even went to see the doctor with her mom in order to ease her fears. We were in such a state of disbelief and devastation that I felt as though we were crumbling. We were told that we had four chances with this protocol,that’s it. And then it would be over. We couldn't afford In Vitro Fertilization.
We went into the doctor’s office in late December hoping that this would be it. Hoping that this time it would work. And were told that in the two weeks since my surgery, Ivy had grown a large cyst and could not do the treatments. Another surgery was talked about and we were sent home with birth control pills
for Ivy to take to help alleviate the cyst.
We went home and cried together. We thought another opportunity had been taken away from us. After about half an hour, Ivy looked up at me and said, “It’s time for you to play the man card and make a decision. What do you want to do?” I told her, “You’re done. We can’t do this anymore. It’s time to adopt.” And finally, for the first time in months, we both began to feel hope. You see, we believe that there is a reason for everything. And we needed to feel as though there was a reason for all of the heartache. That there was a reason for all of our pain. What we didn’t know was that there wasn’t a reason. There were three.
So Ivy got up from the couch, went into our filing cabinet, got out the adoption applications, and began to fill them out. Within a month, we heard about three children who would be up for adoption…and shrugged it off. Adoption is not that easy, so we thought nothing of it when Teresa told us her parents were fostering these kids and that they would be ready for adoption soon.
A week later, Ivy got a text message on her phone. It said “they’re free. They can be adopted.” She went to Teresa’s house, spoke to her mom on the phone about the kids and began to feel as though her heart was being tugged towards them. She tried to talk to me about it and I told her no. That’s too many kids at once. There’s no way. She finally talked me into at least finding out about the kids. Well, then she did the worst. She showed me a picture of them. And that was it. They were ours.
A week after we decided to adopt, we discovered that the cyst she had grown, the cyst that the fertility specialist thought would have to be surgically removed, the cyst that kept us from completing the invasive fertility treatments, was gone.
6 weeks after the surgery, four weeks after deciding to adopt, we met our kids. The process was rolling. And the process rolled very quickly. In may, just three months later, our kids came home. That is practically unheard of. You see, it usually takes three months to go through the application process alone and then it could take years before you bring a child home. It took us a grand total of three and a half months. That in and of itself is a miracle.
So we brought our children home and became a family. As time went by, we began to heal. Our hearts were filling back up, our home was happy. And we figured this was it. This is what life is all about.
Then something strange happened. One day while at work, Ivy felt her body wake up. It only lasted a few seconds, but she new exactly what it was. When she told me about it that evening, I thought nothing of it.
Three months after our first three children came home and three years into trying to concieve, we found out we were pregnant with our fourth. A miracle to say the least. And for the next eight months, we struggled to keep the pregnancy. We fought against nature and somehow, we won.
So why am I telling you all of this? Why am I delving into our very personal experiences? It all goes back to what we now call our mantra: There is a reason. There is always a reason. There were reasons that we couldn’t get pregnant. There were reasons for the loss of our first pregnancy. There were reasons for that cyst being there, stopping us from continuing the treatments. And all four of them are here today.
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