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September 25th, 2005, 12:24 PM
Please, please don't feel guilty!! You shouldn't have to pour out your family history to anyone - and its perfectly acceptable and normal for you to say that this is your first child. I feel like this is our first child -and i've m/c'd twice before. The way that I see it is that this is going to be the 1st real time that my husband and I have experienced a pregnancy from start to finish. Plus, it really depends on how you view your loss. Of course I am still very sad about our losses, but they were both so early on in the pregnancy that I really didn't have enough time to truly bond with either of them before they were lost. There was never a heartbeat with either of them - and honestly that helped for me to be able to deal with it easier, as I feel that without a heartbeat, there was never truly a life lost, although still really sad.
People will always have their own opinions of "what is right or proper", which usually is very antiquated and old-fashioned. Personally, all that matters is what you and your fiance feel is right. You shouldn't have to change your marriage plans - and you're certainly not the first person to get pregnant after getting engaged - happens all the time!
Just please don't feel guilty - or let others make you feel guilty. Enjoy your pregnancy! and congratulations on your upcoming marriage!! You can share whatever you'd like with other people, but certainly don't feel like you have to tell everyone everything, only share what you're comfortable with.
Best of luck with everything!!