Still feeling like I don't want this baby. . .
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October 26th, 2007, 04:24 PM
Join Date: Oct 2007
My name is Elisabeth. I just joined. I am 29 and expecting my first baby November 23.
So. . .my little boy will be arriving in less than a month and I'm embarassed to say I am still struggling with feelings of not wanting him. This pregnancy was totally unplanned. I had known the father about 2 weeks when we conceived. He is truly a wonderful man, and we are now married and doing the best we can to provide a great life for the little guy. We keep falling more and more in love, and I am totally happy with the relationship. He is ridiculously excited about the baby. But. . .
I feel SO much regret. For my part, I gave up a big-time, life-long, now totally impossible dream to have this baby. It's just that I could not imagine having an abortion. In a way, I wish I could have. Perhaps it would have been easier. I could have gone on with my life, and even if I felt awful and guilty, I could have kept on the course I was going on. But now, here I am having a baby when I NEVER wanted kids. It wasn't even on my radar as a possibility.
I thought I would have worked out these feelings by this point in the pregnancy (and I have made SOME progress) but this is still so difficult. Now I'm afraid these feelings are going to effect my labor, childbirth, and even my relationship with my son. I know it's not his fault and that I should want him. . .please help!
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