Emotional time -
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October 31st, 2007, 03:14 PM
Doula & MW Apprentice
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Galveston, TX
Oh LaLa - I have been abscent from this board for too long!!! I wish I had been on in time to see this when it was first posted.
My best friend found out she was carrying twin girls around November 2005. We have twin girls too - so we were all very excited. Well, the first part of December, I got a call that she had lost one to TTTS that was not diagnosed previously. She felt she was having contractions - so they hooked her up to perform an NST. Sure enough, she was in labor. She was 23 weeks. Being her friend and her hired doula, I went to the hospital to be with her. They were able to stop labor temporarily. When I got home that evening, and for every day after that, I did what research I could on TTTS (she wanted to know what she and her babies were up against) and personal research on compassionate deliveries.
1 week after being admitted, I received the dreaded phone call - she was at 9cm and being moved to L&D. I gathered my things and got to the hospital. She delivered Abby stillborn, at 23 weeks gestation, she was beautiful. Kiersten came 10 minutes later. She arrived angry and kicking at the world. She arrived 24 weeks gestation. She fought hard for 5 days before giving up and going Home to be with her sister.
The thing was, I was not PREPARED to help her with this! Doula cert doesn't prepare you, being a CBE doesn't prepare you. I am also SO honored to have been asked to be there. I was honored to be a part of this moment in their lives. It was beautiful, intensely sorrow-filled, and sacred.
I would do it all again in a heartbeat if ever asked but I pray it doesn't ever happen again!
I wish I could hug you. I wish I could hug the momma. As my friend who went through this said "You don't get over it, you only get through it". If you meet with her again. Just hug her and tell her she can talk about her dear son (enter name if you know it) with you. She can be anything she wants to be with you - angry, sad, ANYTHING. Give her permission to be those things, because the rest of her life and ppl around her won't.
Oh hon! Giant cyber hugs to you. PM me if you want.
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