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December 18th, 2007, 07:13 PM
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MommyToTwo MommyToTwo is offline
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Hello Ladies! I've popped in here time and again. During my 7th month of pregnancy, I started getting the blues big time, and discovered I had pre partum depression. My doc put me on antidepressants at that point to help me ward off post partum. I was on zoloft until we ran out of our insurance...when I stopped cold turkey (SO NOT fun!) Life has been very rough lately....I've been dealing with a lot of loss, death, illness, financial troubles, DH getting laid off, having to go back to work plus old issues like mental, physical, sexual abuse and all that...all stressers that really get to me and bring me down. I've been having a harder and harder time dealing with the depression and anxiety. My first day back to work, I was hysterical. I couldn't stop crying before I even left (over an hour before I left) so when I walked out of my house, I drove directly to the hospital instead of work. Finally, I told someone what was going on and went for help.... I was given the choice of being admitted to the hospital or starting a program called Crisis Diversion. It's a 60 day intensive outpatient program. I have a case worker who comes to my house once a week, fast track to see a psychiatrist to get back on medication plus nurses and counselors to help me.

Having a baby is an amazing time but it is also very very hard to adjust to. I love my son more than life itself which I think is why I have such a hard time. Having him opened me up and made me more vulnerable than I have ever been in my life. I live in fear of everything because I feel like I couldn't take losing him. I feel like a person can only take so much...

I have my appt with my psychiatrist tomorrow. I'm looking forward to getting on something that will regulate my moods and help me see the good in life again....I really miss it.
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