Confused and Upset
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October 22nd, 2005, 09:42 AM
Hi Lindsay -
Thank you for sharing, and i'm truly sorry for what you're going through. It certainly sounds like you've been on an emotional and physical rollercoaster with all of this. I'm sorry that I don't have any concrete answers, but here's my advice for what it's worth....
First of all, if you're a few days late, it wouldn't hurt to take a preg. test - just so that you'll know either way. Stress can certainly affect your cycles and could be a good reason for you being late. I'd start there just so that you can stop wondering if you're pregnant again or not.
As far as the your bf, I think that you need to look out for yourself at the moment, and deal with your own grief and feelings of loss. Some men just can't handle certain problems or don't know how to deal with their emotions constuctively. It sounds like you both may need to deal with your own feelings towards losing the pregnancy and then maybe could then work on the relationship if you think it's worth it.
I too believe that things happen for a reason, although unfortunately we don't always know what those reasons are. From what i've read and been through, most miscarriages are due to chromosomal abnormalities and really there's nothing that anything could have been done to prevent it. We had alot of testing done after my 2nd m/c only to find that there wasn't anything wrong w/either of us and we were told that we just had a series of really bad luck.
I don't know what to tell you so that you can get through this sooner, as everyone grieves at a different pace. I hope that you can turn to your family and share with them what you're feeling. Sometimes just talking about it and getting it all out helps in accepting what's happened. Of course there's alot of people on here that have similar experiences and will certainly be here for you as well.