New grandma here and need advise!!
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February 6th, 2008, 04:16 PM
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: southern cali
wow!! having been there i guess al i would add is that maybe you should just step back and let them figure it out on their own. you know and i know that they have bit off a bigger bite than they can chew. when it becomes a realaity to them they will quickly realize they need your support. just gently give it b ut let them learn as they go. it is so hard to step back. i am dealing with issues right now too with my grandson and i hate the conflict. i look forward to the days when things settle down and i can just enjoy being a grandma.
I am Angie and expecting a grandson any day now. My son is 16 (17 on Feb 14th) and he and his girlfriend came to me in July to tell me that she was pregnant. Instead of getting mad I accepted that things happen and have tried to do everything I can to help them thru this. I gave my son my car because HER mom said that his car wasn't "good enough", I have bought lotsa clothes, a bassinette, car seat, etc. Just anything I knew they would need. I have also taken and paid for 2 sonograms, one of which was 3D so that the kids would have a keepsake of the pregnancy. Needless to say the kids are set when the day arrives for their son to be born. Long story short....lately I have been told by her family that they don't want the baby at my house much, they don't want family coming to the hospital to see the baby, etc. My own son even had the nerve to tell me that I "act like this is MY baby" because I have tried to help. I am pretty much at my wits end here and was wondering if any grandmas have been through this?? I honestly thought that having my first grandchild would be more of a joyous occasion and lately its been a nightmare. I keep telling myself that they are just kids and they don't understand that its going to be a lot of work and they may need my help. I did however tell them (after they hurt my feelings by telling me that the baby won't be here much because SHE feels more comfortable at her house and that they felt like I was acting like he was MY baby) that if they needed my help I am here but I refuse to take total responsibility of this baby cause I am grandma and NOT the parent!! I seriously think its going to get worse after he gets here and am really scared that I won't be a part of his life due to her family being selfish. All I have done through this whole pregnancy is support these kids and I feel as if they don't care.
Any advise would be appreciated.
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