I feel guilty
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February 12th, 2008, 01:32 AM
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Littleton, CO
I wanted Erin to be a girl so bad (got my wish!). I just knew it would be SO MUCH harder for me to box up all of Cora's clothes and put them away without using them. After we lost Cora, I pretty much left all the little clothes in the dresser where they were.
So, yes, I understand your want to have a boy, since that's what you were expecting and hoping for.
And since when is having a baby selfish? I know it feels that way, but think about it: it's the most UNselfish thing you will ever do.
And I think you are right, you will from now on worry about whether or not wanting to TTC is a subconscious desire to replace him. I've been feeling like it's time for us to have another, and I still worry if wanting to replace Cora is the reason behind it.
That desire to have a baby is not WRONG.
I hope you and DH can figure something out that you both agree on, and that you get your boy when the time comes.
Thanks to Vicki... for the siggy!
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