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-   -   First ISP with Bio family (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f84-adoption/1432744-first-isp-bio-family.html)

SarahBethsMommy February 11th, 2009 08:16 AM

I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I am for sure! On Thursday I have an ISP meeting for Lil Buddy (normal scheduled one) and his bio grma and bio dad just got their letter of intent to TPR and decided they'd "do whatever it takes to get him back" so they are "attending" via conference call the ISP. This means I have to talk to them and we have to include them in the decision making process for this little boy who they have met ONCE in his 22 months of life. Sigh... I hate this part.

mswordwiz February 11th, 2009 10:30 AM

Quote:

I'm nervous. I don't know why, but I am for sure! On Thursday I have an ISP meeting for Lil Buddy (normal scheduled one) and his bio grma and bio dad just got their letter of intent to TPR and decided they'd "do whatever it takes to get him back" so they are "attending" via conference call the ISP. This means I have to talk to them and we have to include them in the decision making process for this little boy who they have met ONCE in his 22 months of life. Sigh... I hate this part.[/b]

You are going to be strong and hopefully their lack of caring and interest will come out during this conference call. Not even a visit??? I hope it goes your way and the TPR happens so you can adopt your little guy. Talk about how energetic he is ..if they are senior citizens...they may not want to chase after a toddler.

BensMom February 11th, 2009 12:20 PM

Oh, my!! :( I wouldn't be nervous... I'd be absolutely sick! You'll do great, though. I'm sure. :inlove:

Jessica C February 11th, 2009 12:50 PM

Oh, Beth! My t&p's are with you for this. I don't quite understand what all of the letters mean, but I understand the jist of what's happening. I don't know how that goes, but hopefully you can bring the point across that they haven't had any contact in almost 2 years so why should they be an integral part of his life now. I too would be sick with worry. Good Luck, sweetie! Again, your family is in my t&p's for this!

LadyLacy February 11th, 2009 03:31 PM

agreeing w/e/o (((hugs Beth))) you all are in my thoughts and prayers

Jessa78 February 11th, 2009 05:18 PM

Beth, you will be in my t&p, hon. You are a very strong woman and a wonderful advocate for your son.

:dothug: :dothug:

SarahBethsMommy February 12th, 2009 12:26 PM

Sorry for the abbreviations. ISP is "Individualized Service Plan" and is basically an every 6 months meeting to discuss what is happening in Lil Buddy's case (all foster kids have these). We've had two so far and they are nothing because bio family has never been involved. Bio family being involved means we have to figure out a lot more stuff. TPR = Terminate Parents Rights which means the bio family would no longer have any right to Lil Buddy at all.

They've had one visit with Lil Buddy ever. They live 6 hours away but never call to check on him. I've sent pictures to them and never heard from them about that (that they might like them, want more, want none... just nothing at all). At the one visit, when I picked him up the bio grma said to me, "Enjoy him while you have him, he'll be coming home soon." Ugh, I haven't liked her since... lol.

I would love Lil Buddy to know and even possibly live with his bio family IF and this is a BIG IF they WANT him and will put him above ALL else in their lives. I don't see these folks doing that so I'm less than thrilled that they want to be a part of his life at all.

LadyLacy February 12th, 2009 04:33 PM

how'd things go?

BensMom February 12th, 2009 09:13 PM

I was thinking about you this evening. I'm also wondering what happened.

SarahBethsMommy February 13th, 2009 09:55 AM

Well, sorry I didn't update yesterday. I had a test right after the meeting and then I was just so tired I went to bed early.

It went ok. We have a visit planned for February 28 (grma can only come up here on Saturdays). On that day we'll do an "in person" ISP again. Caseworker wants me to go over with her on that day what it takes to take care of Lil Buddy each day. They also want to show them how hard it is to get him to eat. I plan to let them feed him lunch (the hardest meal to get him to eat traditionally). And I'll bring his gate trainer (a physical therapy thing that he HATES with a passion, but we have to do it each day a few times a day).

I really think grma doesn't have any idea what it takes to care for him daily. And she said all the "right" things. I keep thinking if she'd been this gungho a year ago, Lil Buddy would already be in their home and would probably be doing quite well. Now, though, I feel like it is too little and too late.

BensMom February 13th, 2009 11:13 AM

I hate that older children go through the same thing and that they're old enough to understand. How terrible. :closedeyes: I'm glad he's so young.

LadyLacy February 13th, 2009 05:02 PM

agree w/you Beth, glad it went okay and hope they see how things truly are when she visits. I pray the best for him and your family

Dacontay4 February 14th, 2009 07:33 PM

Good luck! I'll be praying it all works out well. My parents went through a similar thing with my little bro's birth family for over a year and they finally got his adoption finalized early January. Hopefully they'll realize he is better off with you when at the visit!


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