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akicequeen02 January 29th, 2011 12:54 PM

Fees
 
Just another question! What are others experiences or agency policies on fees and if they are reimbursed if the birth mom decides to parent? Just trying to get some idea. I found an agency that I think I am interested in. Sounds like their fees are reasonable and schedule is fine just non-refundable. They do give special cases (i.e. Babies on hospital... Last min adoption decision) preference to those who have had birth moms change their minds so the fees would be less.

I don't know. It all seems like so much...

angel3y35 January 30th, 2011 01:31 PM

Re: Fees
 
It is a lot to wrap your mind around. With the one we are going through the only money we lose is any paid for the birth mother expenses. If she changes her mind we get whatever time we were matched with her added back to our contract.

akicequeen02 January 31st, 2011 09:38 PM

Re: Fees
 
It is a lot to figure out. I don't know any more. We can afford it if the mom doesnt change her mind then we are fine but if she does then we would be screwed. A lot of money wasted and maybe not money to continue forward with. I have been having a hard time with all of this the last few weeks, month ish. Really rough feeling emotionally. Not only cant we not have biological children because of my endo we are going to have to go broke to try to adopt a child. It is all really not fair. Not that we would do something different, a bio child would be nice- mostly because it would be easier. I love the idea of adoption just so stressful.

Probably doesn't help that our friends just got pregnant after just 2 months of TTC. REALLY!? Ugh...

I just feel very sad. I enjoy my work and have been trying to keep myself busy but the down time, especially on the weekends I feel empty and very sad. I don't think I have been this sad ever in my life.

angel3y35 February 3rd, 2011 08:04 PM

Re: Fees
 
I completely understand how you're feeling. It's not fair that it costs so much for a child (unless you go through foster care). My husband hates feeling like we are "buying" a child. I'm in a bit of a funk right now too but that's because of other things going on. I don't know if you're a religious person or not but last week, before we signed the contract, I pretty much broke down and did a lot of praying. I finally feel a sense of peace about everything. I know there is a child out there meant specifically for me and my husband. I realized that I want a child more than I want a pregnancy and that seemed to make things easier too.

Know too that you can set a limit up front on the amount of money you pay for medical expenses and the like. We've set ours at $1500. It is a lot of money but no so much that it would completely devastate us if we lost it. From what I've found from talking to several different agencies, a good majority of the women are actually older women who already have kids and just can't afford to take care of another one. They don't need much assistance. Most agencies now also help get them on Medicare / Medicade so the medical costs aren't that much. A lot of women don't even need any assistance at all.

It's a long, confusing, stressful process. If you ever need to talk please don't hesitate to PM me.


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