JustMommies Message Boards

JustMommies Message Boards (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/)
-   April 2013 Playroom (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1865-april-2013-playroom/)
-   -   The Past Two Appointments *long* (http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f1865-april-2013-playroom/2635116-past-two-appointments-long.html)

Cortney6983 March 15th, 2013 03:32 PM

The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
I had an appointment Monday and Tuesday *may be long*

I have not really known how to write it out or wanted to for feeling crappy about myself but I wanted to share the experience I had...

~Before the appointment talk~ As most of you know I am a bigger girl, I stared pregnancy at 250 I am 5'3.. I have gone up to 260 but have stayed mostly in the 257 range this whole pregnancy.. Well from the first time I have gone into the place I go for my OB/MW appointments (separate from the hospital) I had seen two different MW's before I found the one I have now.. the two before were VERRRYYYY rude about my weight... The WHOLE first appointment (back when I was like 8 weeks) was about how my weight would affect the baby.. I really didn't like how she treated me... so I tried a new one... same with that women.... FINALLY my LAST straw I found one I LOVE this OB is AMAZING she has not been rude or kept on and on about my weight and she actually goes over my blood work unlike the other two..

That being said the hospital I go to has a cut off for BMI because they don't feel comfortable with someone over a certain BMI in the case they would need to do a C-section... which means If I was to surpass said BMI i would have to go to a different hospital... my FIRST MW I saw said I would have to get to 275 to have my BMI go to far... stressful much? No I never dieted or ate less because of this. I just ate better.

Anyway Onto Appointment #1 Monday... As apart of being bigger and the hospitals requirements for bigger pregos I had to see an Anesthesiologist not sure why really, my appointment was at 12:30 I got there for 12:15 they took me to that floor... I went in the Nurse weighed me which I had not expected (I usually wear light things to get a true weight size not me+clothes) I had worn my boots jeans leggings under my jeans, belly band, two tanktops, my sweater and a sweatshirt LOL I was 263... the nurse did my blood pressure, asked me TONS of questions, do you smoke, drink ect (no lol) she did my heartbeat with the stethoscope 5 different areas around my chest to my back... then left to get the Anesthesiologist... He came in... asked the SAME questions the nurse did which she already wrote down... and checked my heartbeat JUST like she did.. he asked me if i was going to have a C- Section... I said ummm not that I know of! (he didn't even really know why I was there in the first place) well once he looked over my paper work, he told me about how they didn't know if I was going to have my baby there due to my weight... he said to be at the BMI cut off I would have to be 255... HUH? didnt make sense since I was "262" *excess clothing weight lol* he was a bit rude about my weight ... well after all that talk he ordered a EKG *had never had one before* and blood work... they never told me why or what for... Well the nurse came in gave me a gown to put on said " you can keep your bra on" well I had never seen or done an EKG so I took all my clothes off except for my bra... she came in and goes WELL YOU COULDA KEPT YOUR PANTS ON... I told her how she said I can keep my bra on so it confused me... so I asked if I could put my pants on before the EKG she said yes so i waited while she messed with the EKG machine.. she then goes "you can put your pants on I am messing with this" now I am not one to show my body off... which usually nurses and such leave for a few min to let you do your thing... it was weird trying to put my pants on with her RIGHT there... so after thats all done I get sent to do blood work for idk what... that sucked they had to prick me 3 times to get some blood lol I was pretty down about myself I mean you go through this whole thing thinking WOW I thought I was doing good with my weight gain! anyway finally got out of there at 2... was VERY upset when I talked to my mom about being so in limbo not knowing where the HECK I was going to have my little lady...they honestly treated me like a monster because of my weight...

Next Day Appointment with OB... I went into my appointment ready to tell my OB I was going to end up going somewhere else I was done with this limbo stuff I felt I was treated VERRRYY poorly I AM NOT THAT BIG! I of course started crying my eyes out she was pretty upset on how they treated me... she told me I have been doing GREAT with my weight gain (oh she weighed me and I was 257, that's why I wear thinner clothes for weigh ins, true weight) she said I have NOTHING to worry about! she said my blood pressure is great, no GD, i have gained about 7 lbs this pregnancy, my BMI is yes close but not close enough to worry about it... she said I WILL BE HAVING MY BABY THERE as LONG as I still feel comfortable (after what happened) I told her how I did NOT like the fact they ordered blood work on me without her knowing or me knowing what reasoning.. she said she would get the why and the results... she told me to write a letter about how discriminating they were to me... she said that is NOT ok for them to be treating me badly nor there place. I have NEVER felt so crappy about myself... I felt better after talking to her, I felt human again not like a fat lard. Needless to say my first appointment SUCKED

I have an ultrasound the 26th to see the size of little girl and check up on her.. also that same day I get the group B strep thing and to check cervix and to see if I am dilated any.. I also scheduled the rest of my appointments out.

Anyway I had to vent this after a few days of calming down and feeling better, please no comments about my weight I don't like sharing my weight I have gone through H*LL and back with my weight.

bellasky March 15th, 2013 03:45 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
I am so sorry you were treated that way.

~AmazedByYou~ March 15th, 2013 04:34 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
You needed to see anesthesia because people who fall into the obese and morbidly obese category (no offense.. it's a technical numbers thing) are EXTREMELY difficult to get epidurals and spinals into. ESPECIALLY if they're short because you can't curl the way you need to in order to allow them access to the epidural spaces. So they like anesthesia to be aware of what they're dealing with and honestly anesthesia can say you're not a candidate. Being your weight and height absolutely DOES put you and baby at higher risk for lots of things. I understand you're uncomfortable with your body (I've been there) but the not wanting to undress around nurses/etc thing is going to have to go out the window when you're pushing and stuff. Modesty kind of has to go out the window. They're doing all these tests and interviews and bloodwork and assessments (listening to your heart/lungs) because you're at a higher risk for a csection and it may end up if they think they can't get in a spinal/epidural that they will need to put you under general anesthesia so they need to know baseline lung function, and blood levels, and cardiac status. The nurse AND anesthesia both listened because they need to make their own assessments and judgement calls. They shouldn't have disrespected you but to much of society.. weight is an aesthetics and visual thing and to the medical world it is much much more important than that. Example: Obese and morbidly obese women have more fat and tissue over their lungs and when laid down, they can literally have suffocation issues. Your pre-pregnancy BMI was 44.3. That is a red flag to doctors and nurses. Like I said.. they shouldn't have been rude or disrespectful but the information they're telling you is 200% the truth and they're doing it for your safety and the safety of the baby. Also, your doctor is full of ***** if she told you she doesn't know why they did it all. SHE had to have it ordered.

Missa_Mae March 15th, 2013 04:46 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
:ditto:

I agree with everything ~Amazed~ said ... it's terrible if they treated you poorly because of your weight but everything they did/ordered was to make sure that your labor goes smoothly and both you and your baby girl are healthy.

I understand being self conscious about your weight/body and getting undressed but this is a nurse and believe me, from all the labors I've seen there are several different people that will be in and out of your room with their fingers in your vagina, looking at different things, etc. It's something you just have to go with the flow about.

Just have faith in your doctors and nurses and know that they are doing everything they can to make sure all goes well on D-Day :)

Cortney6983 March 15th, 2013 05:10 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ~AmazedByYou~ (Post 27200070)
You needed to see anesthesia because people who fall into the obese and morbidly obese category (no offense.. it's a technical numbers thing) are EXTREMELY difficult to get epidurals and spinals into. ESPECIALLY if they're short because you can't curl the way you need to in order to allow them access to the epidural spaces. So they like anesthesia to be aware of what they're dealing with and honestly anesthesia can say you're not a candidate. Being your weight and height absolutely DOES put you and baby at higher risk for lots of things. I understand you're uncomfortable with your body (I've been there) but the not wanting to undress around nurses/etc thing is going to have to go out the window when you're pushing and stuff. Modesty kind of has to go out the window. They're doing all these tests and interviews and bloodwork and assessments (listening to your heart/lungs) because you're at a higher risk for a csection and it may end up if they think they can't get in a spinal/epidural that they will need to put you under general anesthesia so they need to know baseline lung function, and blood levels, and cardiac status. The nurse AND anesthesia both listened because they need to make their own assessments and judgement calls. They shouldn't have disrespected you but to much of society.. weight is an aesthetics and visual thing and to the medical world it is much much more important than that. Example: Obese and morbidly obese women have more fat and tissue over their lungs and when laid down, they can literally have suffocation issues. Your pre-pregnancy BMI was 44.3. That is a red flag to doctors and nurses. Like I said.. they shouldn't have been rude or disrespectful but the information they're telling you is 200% the truth and they're doing it for your safety and the safety of the baby. Also, your doctor is full of ***** if she told you she doesn't know why they did it all. SHE had to have it ordered.

I do agree on seeing one but they didn't check anything they were supposed to (My throat/ spine) as my OB told me they would, it's more the fact that they all keep telling me different things, It's hard to explain HOW they said things, not what they were saying but how. I know being bigger has more problems but when my first MW sat there and would NOT stop talking about anything else (two of them) the whole time instead of anything else it does get rather redundant because I knew it was not that good and they gave me a packet of what could potentially go wrong and they told me it all more than once. My first MW said I should not gain any weight at all. It could be my hormones that made me feel like crap but they were pretty rude about everything. In all honesty my OB did not know anything about those tests, he ordered them he even said he did she was stunned and NOT happy about that, my regular doctor didn't either as I had changed and never even seen my regular doctor yet.

I am sure I am over reacting, I was fine with being sent there for that reason and I was fine with all the stuff they were doing but to be rude like they were was not right I would rather them tell me whats up but all of them giving me different info sucks and not knowing if you will have your baby at the place you have seen and known and checked out sucks that's why If being in limbo I was just going to go to a different place make it easier on everyone... but my OB said I have nothing to worry about as far as where I will have her.

Hopefully after Lilly is a few months old I can go back in and get my Lapband re clamped and get that going again but the RIGHT way this time and work with it and have it work with me... I do NOT ever want to get down to 80lbs again.

Cortney6983 March 15th, 2013 05:18 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
I guess I was just scared to ask why and tell them they were being rude since being pregnant this is the most I have ever gone to the doctors this much or bloodwork done only went to the ER once seen that hospital maybe 3 times ever and I'm very shy about things =\ I figured somewhere someone would let me know what was going on which is what I thought a healthcare person was supposed to do be the informative but I do know now to ask questions

anjawb March 15th, 2013 05:24 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
I am close to you in the height weight proportion, and I have been very lucky that no one has been rude to me about my weight, or made me feel uncomfortable. They had no right to do that to you! I understand the need for caution from a medical standpoint, and for them to do the tests, but there is a nice way to do everything. I wold definitely follow up with that letter!!!

plastikmom March 15th, 2013 06:00 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
Courtney, I hate the way you were treated. Unfortunately some health care providers can be clinically good, but completely lack bed side manner. I was horrified when she told you that you could have left your pants on for the EKG. Obviously SHE knew that, but YOU didn't. Then she should have given you privacy to dress. Common courtesy after she failed to properly instruct you on what to take off and what to leave on. Of course you will have to relax on the modestly thing during delivery, but you were not there to show off your parts, you were there for a pre-op appt. and it sounds like it was never appropriately explained to you what you were there for. The anesthesiologist should have explained the risks to you and explained what he was testing for. The anesthesiologist may very well order tests specific to your care that your OB did not know about. (Although I would think there would be standards for this and your OB should have had an idea what they were looking for, my guess is electrolytes since this is important prior to general anesthesia) He should have looked at your airway if he thought you were a higher C-section risk. He should have evaluated your spine and told you if there were specific concerns about a spinal/epidural. (I have seen spinals placed in people over 300lbs, is it a challenge, yep. Does it happen, yes all the time). I have also seen C-sections performed on people much larger then you. Do the doctors moan and complain because their job is harder? Yes they do and it seems to me like obesity is one of the last predjudices that people find acceptable. Is it riskier, yes. If there anything you can do about it now. No. (Other then the great job you have done being careful with your pregnancy weight gain) People who have never struggled with their weight have no idea of how hard it is or how bad it feels to be treated like a fat clinical specimen. I'm so sorry you had a bad experience and these people did not treat you like a person who deserved to be informed and treated with compassion.

Capeladybug March 15th, 2013 06:30 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
This.is why in dang age ppl need to be their own health care advocates. I don't care if I have to ask a million questions, if I don't know why something is being done then I ask why. I sure as heck am not going to let someone draw my blood if I don't know why they are doing it. I also am not going to let so one treat me poorly without calling them on it and talking to a supervisor. No, doctors and nurses are not there to coddle you. You are 22 getting ready to have a baby. However, they are there to provide healthcare with respect and to answer any related questions you may have.

~AmazedByYou~ March 16th, 2013 05:06 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by plastikmom (Post 27200323)
Courtney, I hate the way you were treated. Unfortunately some health care providers can be clinically good, but completely lack bed side manner. I was horrified when she told you that you could have left your pants on for the EKG. Obviously SHE knew that, but YOU didn't. Then she should have given you privacy to dress. Common courtesy after she failed to properly instruct you on what to take off and what to leave on. Of course you will have to relax on the modestly thing during delivery, but you were not there to show off your parts, you were there for a pre-op appt. and it sounds like it was never appropriately explained to you what you were there for. The anesthesiologist should have explained the risks to you and explained what he was testing for. The anesthesiologist may very well order tests specific to your care that your OB did not know about. (Although I would think there would be standards for this and your OB should have had an idea what they were looking for, my guess is electrolytes since this is important prior to general anesthesia) He should have looked at your airway if he thought you were a higher C-section risk. He should have evaluated your spine and told you if there were specific concerns about a spinal/epidural. (I have seen spinals placed in people over 300lbs, is it a challenge, yep. Does it happen, yes all the time). I have also seen C-sections performed on people much larger then you. Do the doctors moan and complain because their job is harder? Yes they do and it seems to me like obesity is one of the last predjudices that people find acceptable. Is it riskier, yes. If there anything you can do about it now. No. (Other then the great job you have done being careful with your pregnancy weight gain) People who have never struggled with their weight have no idea of how hard it is or how bad it feels to be treated like a fat clinical specimen. I'm so sorry you had a bad experience and these people did not treat you like a person who deserved to be informed and treated with compassion.

What I was getting at is that anesthesia doesn't just take it on themselves to order a preop. It has to be ordered by the OB. So her doctor clearly knew why she was there, and her doctor knows **** well what routine tests are done at a preop. To say she had no idea about any of it is lying. And getting a spinal in an overweight person has more to do with weight height ratio rather than just weight.

SaphireScorpion March 16th, 2013 06:47 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
That sounds pretty awful. I get some flack about my weight (non pregnant flucuates between 200 and 220, and I'm 5'2") but here is the thing: I am a lifeguard who is constantly swimming for my job (I can swim 600m in about 12.5 minutes) and I teach water aerobics, which is jumping around on a 30 degree celsius pool deck for 45 min several times a week. I have PCOS and have really large muscles like a guy (most of my male friends are jealous of my 16 inch biceps which do not have any fat to pinch when I flex, even though I hate them). The bulging muscle lines on my arms and legs are obvious, and it's also obvious that I have these big muscular shoulders. But petite little female doctors, who will probably never weigh more than 130lbs even after menopause, give me flack about numbers on the scale without seeming to LOOK at me. I am flexible, and can kick higher than my own head, as well as I can bend over while sitting and touch my forehead to my knees. My blood pressure is low, resting heart rate is low, cholesterol is low, in other words, I am healthy (other than the PCOS.) I just have big muscles (and huge boobs) which add a lot of weight. My body fat percentage is actually in the low/athletic range...I just carry more fat because my body wants to balance out the extra muscle and not be at 10% body fat. Everyone's situation is different and everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
I was 242 when I went into labour with my first, and no one said anything about me having trouble with an epidural, and I didn't go through what you went through. Weird.

SaphireScorpion March 16th, 2013 06:47 PM

Re: The Past Two Appointments *long*
 
That sounds pretty awful. I get some flack about my weight (non pregnant flucuates between 200 and 220, and I'm 5'2") but here is the thing: I am a lifeguard who is constantly swimming for my job (I can swim 600m in about 12.5 minutes) and I teach water aerobics, which is jumping around on a 30 degree celsius pool deck for 45 min several times a week. I have PCOS and have really large muscles like a guy (most of my male friends are jealous of my 16 inch biceps which do not have any fat to pinch when I flex, even though I hate them). The bulging muscle lines on my arms and legs are obvious, and it's also obvious that I have these big muscular shoulders. But petite little female doctors, who will probably never weigh more than 130lbs even after menopause, give me flack about numbers on the scale without seeming to LOOK at me. I am flexible, and can kick higher than my own head, as well as I can bend over while sitting and touch my forehead to my knees. My blood pressure is low, resting heart rate is low, cholesterol is low, in other words, I am healthy (other than the PCOS.) I just have big muscles (and huge boobs) which add a lot of weight. My body fat percentage is actually in the low/athletic range...I just carry more fat because my body wants to balance out the extra muscle and not be at 10% body fat. Everyone's situation is different and everyone deserves to be treated with respect.
I was 242 when I went into labour with my first, and no one said anything about me having trouble with an epidural, and I didn't go through what you went through. Weird.


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:30 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Optimization by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright © 2003-2012 JustMommies.com, All Rights Reserved.